You never quite know what you're going to get when you collect a hire car. The website suggested that I'd be getting a Ford Ka or similar. A call to check up on collection options also offered the opinion that it would probably be Fiat Panda. Nothing very exciting, but at the price I wasn't going to complain, as all I needed was transport to get around a few friends and family in the north of Ireland over the following few days. So it was a rather pleasant surprise to be handed the credit card sized key fob for the fresh looking Renault Clio that was sitting near the office door. Having completed nearly all the necessary paperwork we went to check the condition of the car together and have a quick briefing of the controls. It's a smart looking car in this new 5 door only configuration complete with those black and chrome inserts that run from the front to rear doors. The concealed rear door handles add to the sportiness of the shapely looks along with those 16" alloy wheels.
Those good looks continue inside too with nicely finished seats, glossy black dash panels, and some neat chrome trimming. It's full to the brim with kit, most of which is controlled by the large touchscreen that provides access to all the media, communication, and navigation systems. So having seemingly signed my life away, I'm finally ready to head over the border toward Banbridge. Rather than blast along the quiet, smooth, two lane motorways of the Republic of Ireland towards Dublin before circling the city centre and heading north, I decide to cut across country to Mullingar, picking up the N52 through Delvin, Kells, and Ardee, before joining the M1/E01 near Dundalk. Having followed the road signs onto the busy little back road to Mullingar, feelings of nostalgia for childhood family trips override any thoughts about my current mode of transport. The N52 turns out to be clearer road better suited to discovering the dynamics of my chariot for the weekends.
This 1.2 engine is the least spritely option in the range with a 0-60mph time is the 15sec territory, but 4 cylinders and 16 valve run smoothly and eagerly to deliver 75bhp and 79lb ft, which works better in the metal than the figures would suggest. Together with the smooth ride, controlled handling, and accurate steering; twisty B... urr... N-roads can be dispatched with some considerable relish. It strikes a good balance between being a quiet runaround and a sporty little tearaway, making round town driving relaxing and back road stuff very engaging. The only problem is that 0-60 time which makes overtaking slower traffic a project that requires careful planning and a nice long gap. Many Irish roads have nice wide, surfaced verges that slower road users with normally move over onto to allow anyone who's 'in a hurry' past. With the road improvements that came with the Republic's one time 'poor man of Europe' status, this seems to be a dying habit, sadly.
Stopping off in Kells for a late lunch and I'm quite impressed with my little hire car. I'm quite impressed with Kells too, the Butterfly Garden Cafe has a great menu, lovely cakes, friendly staff, and a pretty little garden to sit and enjoy the late June sun. If the name Kells rings a bell, that'll be the Book of Kells, much of which was believed to have been created in the local Abbey. It turns out that Hollywood Star Maureen O'Hara was born here too. With a sugar rush taking full affect I decide to have a proper play with the tech behind that large touch screen. Moments later I have my tunes blasting out from my iPod that plugs into the USB in the centre console, all controllable via that screen, my phone is connected via Bluetooth, and the Sat Nav is guiding me back onto the N52 and towards the border. Sadly though, not across the border, as for some reason this car has maps for Eire, but not the UK, and therefore Northern Ireland. This minor issue aside, all this seamless tech integration is a rather delightful discovery.
Blasting North East along the rest of the N52 is further enhanced by some classic U2, and regular warnings for upcoming junctions. There is one moment where the Sat Nav does that old trick of sending me down a little lane that is so disused that there is not only moss, but foot high grass growing down the middle of it. A quick delve into the setting and 'Shortest Route' is swapped for 'Fastest Route' for the remainder of the weekend. Picking up the M1/E1 and you notice just how much difference all that EU money has made to the Irish road network, it's all silky smooth fresh Tarmac all the way from Dublin to the border. Back in the 80's the border was identified by concrete bunkers, armed solders, and better roads. Now you only notice it because of the signs warning that all is now mph not kph, and with Northern Irish roads suffering the same neglect as the rest of the UK it's odd to notice just how worn these surfaces have become.
Finding Banbridge is easy enough, finding my friends house and my bed for the night was somewhat more problematic. And my reliance upon technology wasn't helping much either. The cars Sat Nav was still pinpointing my location, but without any mapping data, its efforts were somewhat pointless. Crossing the border had triggered my phone to switch from the roaming data-less 'ie' connection back to my all singing 'uk' network but not seamlessly, it would transpire. So although I'd texted my mate to confirm his address and some direction, his reply had not reached me, so a slightly confused conversation later and I've entered his address into my trusty TomTom (which I'd brought along with me not expecting any in car equipment). I'm happy to discover that I'm only another ten to fifteen minutes away from a nice cup of tea and a good old natter! Twenty odd minutes later and I'm sat in a side road in some unknown village with a TomTom that has a frozen screen and refuses to reboot, a smartphone that says it has data but won't do anything I ask of it, and an in-car device that knows exactly where I am but has no frigging maps to help me on my way!!!
Half an hour of 'turn it off and on again', map reading, and a "I'm lost" phone call or two, eventually finds me pulling up on the long drive outside my friends rambling new-build, glad to have finished navigation duties for the day. It's at abound this point that I decide to feature this car in my blog, despite it not, strictly speaking, being a friends car that I've arranged to try. The prospect of another two and a half days driving around in this little thing seems to be turning from a necessary part of the trip into an essential element of the adventure. Saturday has me visiting Enniskillen on my way to Stranolar, and Sunday sees me in Derry-Londonderry, before heading back South to Tullamore. It's with some sadness that I find myself back in the the Enterprise office in Athlone on the Monday handing back that keycard to the now fly-covered little fella that helped make my weekend so much fun.
Thanks to the staff at Enterprise Athlone.
©Dan Ewing 2014
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