David's 2004 Renault Megane 1.5 dCi Dynamique

Never buy the same make and model of car twice! Big variations are fine, a 2 litre instead of a 1.6, a mark 3 instead of a mark 2, but anything more similar than that will end in disappointment! Why do I say that? Because small little things will be different between the first and second, that will over time leave you feeling resentful towards the latter. David's Megane estate is a perfect example of this phenomenon. Purchased as a replacement for his mk2 5dr hatchback that had 42,000 miles on the clock back in 2007. This 'Silver Hornet' venerably provided high mileage service until 2012 when the strain of up to 30,000 miles a year finally broke the poor thing beyond economically viable repair. At first view, the 2004 1.5 litre turbo diesel estate made good sense as a budget replacement that needed to be purchased in a hurry. The mileage and condition all looked good, and with a new baby boy in the family the estate option was a welcome bonus. This replacement didn't, however, live up to the expectations set by the its predecessor.

Various bills started coming in due to niggling little problems and a curtain amount of hidden neglect by previous owners. Dave felt that the estate never quite had the same ride comfort or refinement as the hatchback too. The fact that this estate never received any nick name is telling as to the lack of fondness which Dave and his family had for the Silver Hornets replacement. So what is actually wrong with this car? As someone who never drove the Silver Hornet, I don't have any reference point and therefore, can approach this car without any prejudice, well less prejudice anyhow. The general negativity from Dave, Suz (her with the Focus TDi), and even their Daughter Lottie who doesn't even drive, had left me expecting to have a thoroughly miserable motoring experience for the weekend that I had arranged to borrow the car.

Winding my way through various old villages north of Newcastle in the crisp November sun and I was pleasantly surprised by this 'dud' car. It rides very well on the poorly finished roads that make up our urban terrain these days. The size of this small family estate works well in this environment too, being big enough to carry plenty of people and their clutter, but still compact enough to thread through narrow gaps in the determined Saturday afternoon traffic. Bored of heavy traffic, I pick up the A1 and head north for a few miles to Stannington and the warm comforts of The Ridley Arms. Whilst supping a very welcome pint of local bitter, I study Google Maps in search of a route that will give me some empty roads upon which I can test the performance and handling more fully.

A few miles to the north there is the A697 which runs to Wooler and then Coldstream, a few miles to the west offers the A696 that joins the A68 before reaching Jedburgh. In between lies a web of back roads that I've never tried before, despite numerous previous opportunities, so I picked out a zig-zag route to Elsdon, that will link up with the B6341 through Rothbury, before reaching the A1 southbound somewhere near Alnmouth. The autumn sunlight turns orange as the afternoon draws on, and I weave my way along these empty lanes that are both quiet and wide enough for two-way traffic. The terrain turns hillier and the scenery more impressive, and this familiar 1.5 litre direct injection engine (the same unit that powers Jan's Nissan Juke) delivers some eager pace, all be it of a frugal economic variety, providing that you keep the revs in that 3-4000rpm sweet spot.

The gear change is nothing special, a little notchy in fact, but swapping cogs to keep you shuffling along these picturesque roads proves to be surprisingly enjoyable. Feed the car into a corner swiftly and it copes well enough, without so much roll that you or any passengers needs to hold on for grim death. It handles in a way that makes me wonder how good one of the Renault Sport models like the 225 might be. That comfort orientated suspension does start to struggle eventually on rough roads. The welcome compliance starts to give way to rather bouncy unsettled progress, betraying the lack of body control.

As night draws on, back on the A1 cruising home at a steady pace and the seats that seemed too firm earlier it the day, prove to offer good comfort for long runs. The lack of a sixth gear does make for a rather corse cruise, as is all too common with TDi's from this era. The interior is well equipment with decent levels of equipment and good ergonomics. There are a few Renault oddities to get use to with these Megane, like the U shaped handbrake lever, and the keycard style ignition with its required combo of held down pedals before the engine will start. Renault offer a few nice touches too, such as the high mounted central LCD display that show details such an the radio, time, and outside temperature, the radio control stalk that puts all the main controls at fingertip reach from the steering wheel, and a nicely styled cowl over the dashboard instruments.

Pulling up outside my flat, and I'm not too sure what my opinion of this car is. That lack of body control is a fairly big negative for me, but the comfort and practically of this compact and frugal motor win back a fair few plus points. I even quite like the looks of the estate which has a nicely tapered rear glass house without compromising rear access of load capacity, whilst not looking anywhere near a big bummed at the hatchback. Truth be told, Dave's had enough of this car, and has, by now traded it in for a brand new Dacia Duster, after only one year of ownership. Several big problems loomed too large for the upcoming MOT, so he decided to cut his losses and go for the very welcome warranty and servicing deal that came along with the decent finance and trade-in offer.

So some three months on, I'm finally ready to publish this latest update to my blog, that car has probably been passed on through the trade to a dealer who has tidied up the problems and maybe even found a buyer by now. Have they bought a complete turkey? Well maybe if that dealer cut a few corners in preparing the car for sale, but hopefully they didn't, and the new owner will get a car that will serve them well for several years. Who knows, they may even grow to love it enough to come up with a nickname!

Thanks to David for loan of his car. 

© Dan Ewing 2014

Fren & Ed's 2006 Audi A4 Avant 3.0 V6 TDi Quattro Tiptronic

Even the neatly shaped remote key fob quietly whispers 'quality' with its built in folding key and stylish leather and chrome A4 keyring. I'm about to steal away for a quick test of Fren and Ed's well spec'ed daily drive, in-between an afternoons boating and a great seafood dinner, whilst joining them for a few days on their holiday in Loch Lomond. Pull open the drivers door to climb aboard and that sense of wellbeing swells as everything that you can reach to touch or even see seems to confirm that first impression. Quality and discrete style ooze out of every nook, cranny, storage bin, and air vent at you sit, slightly in oar, I try to drink it all in. It's a very well spec'ed car indeed, positioned just nicely between the 'Look at me!' RS4 and the 'poor mans' FWD 1.6 saloon. That three litre V6 TDi delivers a very healthy 230bhp with 332lb/ft of torque via a ZF 6 speed auto 'box through Audi's T2 four wheel drive system, ensuring that each corner does its share in propelling this car forwards as requested.

Official figures declare 0-60mph times somewhere south of 7 seconds, and I have little reason to disbelieve them as I power out of the Cameron House driveway into the brief gap in the congested Friday afternoon traffic that is escaping Glasgow on the A82. The sun has been beating down for the past few days making this part of the world look and feel more like some Mediterranean resort that the place where low and high lands meet. I peel off onto the B831 and then the A818 towards Helensburgh in search of some quieter roads to get a feel for this car. The steering wheel is reasonably small, with a few auxiliary controls that I have neither time or inclination to figure out. The information coming through the steering wheel is a pleasant surprise as is the sharp, accurate steering response. I've had brief drives of front wheel drive A4's in the past and found them to feel quite nose heavy with blunt steering, but a combination of the 50:50 split of power front:rear and possibly a few suspension tweaks on this B7 model (as VW/Audi folk like to refer to them) makes for quite an improvement from behind the wheel.

Mooching around Helensburgh, searching in vain for a jet wash to clear off the road rash that was acquired on the long drive up from Norfolk, and the standard auto mode makes leisurely progress the order of the day. More free time would be nice as Helensburgh looks like a pleasant place to spend an idle hour or two, but I double back along the A818 to dash back to the A82 and a little return leg via Luss. The roads finally quieten enough for me to switch into sports mode and press on along this entertaining ribbon of tarmac. The sport mode works so nicely, that the push/pull manual override option seems fairly redundant. Braking into a corner, the 'box down-changes to just the right gear, ready for you to get back on the power through the apex, feeling all four wheels put the power down cleanly. Even the V6 diesel engine makes some fruity noises that encourage you to press on harder.

Although there is an instant sense that this car has serious capacity to entertain with its poise, all round grip, pace, and smoothness, there's something that hints at more to be discovered. I suspect that this car would continue to impress for month after month of ownership as more of that deeply engrained quality of engineering and build came through in all sorts of environments and conditions. A friend and I often have a 'what one car would you buy if you had to use it for the rest of your life?' style conversation, and high spec mid size 6 cylinder turbo diesel estate car like this Audi normally reoccur time after time. Pondering these thoughts as I cruise back along the A82 in search for a nice spot to stop to photograph the still dirty car, and it's hard not to think of obvious german rivals like the BMW 3 series and the Merc C class. An equivalent 3 series might have a slight edge over the others at 10/10ths, and although I've had little experience of Mercs, they are renowned for their quality and comfort, but the 4WD Audi seems to have an all round every day edge.

That's certainly the conclusion Fren and Ed came to when choosing back it 2006, having previously had various executive and sports cars between them. A relocation from commuter-belt to central London had seen them consolidate down to a Golf GTTDi a few years earlier, and pleased with the VW built quality, but wanting slightly more luxury, an Audi seemed to fit the bill perfectly. I suspect Fren would have rather have had a smaller A3 and Ed a larger A6, maybe even an Allroad version, so the A4 Avant was a good compromise. Front cabin space is very good, although rear legroom does suffer as a result, and luggage space is somewhat compromised by the sports estate styling. That said, the flexibility of the Avant has served Fren and Ed consistently as city jobs have given way to managing their own businesses along with other lifestyle evolutions over the ensuing years. Runs along the coast to fetch service parts for Groovy-Campers or to collect linen for Blakeney Boltholes have replaced long motorway trips from and to London every weekend.

Running short on time, I finally recall a spot that'll work nicely as a backdrop for a few photographs before dashing back to shower and change for dinner. It's always whilst taking the photos that I take in the details of the car I'm testing. Audi seem to constantly tweak and fiddle with the detailing of their products, sometimes without any significant improvement. I think this version still looks great, better than the original A4 which is starting to look a bit frumpy these days, and in many ways, better than the current versions, less fussy somehow. When asking to try other peoples cars, I've always said that I'd need at least a couple of hours with a car to be able to make any meaningful assessment. That was all the time I had with this A4, and in truth, I can say that it is smooth, nicely involving, and pleasing swift to drive, but it truly is a car that you wouldn't tire of for days, weeks, months, probably even years!

Thanks to Fren and Ed for loan of their car (and that seafood dinner!).

www.blakeneyboltholes.co.uk 

www.groovy-campers.co.uk 
ⓒ Dan Ewing 2013

David's 2004 Vauxhall Vectra 1.8 Elegance Duel Fuel

I have done this a few times before, but not for quite a few years now, and even then, not very often. Now I'm stuck at the first hurdle. I can't even get the filling nozzle to un-catch from the LPG pump. The forecourt attendant pops over, gives the nozzle a more determined tug than I had dared to try, and hands it to me. Sheepishly, I am now able to line up the nozzle with the filler socket that lies beneath the secondary fuel cap, and turn a catch to secure the two together. The filler nozzle has a handle similar to that on a petrol pump, but clasping it shut doesn't deliver the fuel, nor does securing the clip that locks the handle in the fully open position (do you remember when petrol pumps had them too?). Over on the pump, next to the display panel, is a large button, press and hold this, and Petroleum Gas flows in Liquid form from the pump through the chunky connections and into the robust tank that sits where the spare tyre should be. Why all this heavy engineering? And why bother with LPG at all?

Fair questions, and there are plenty more that can be asked. LPG cars require all the same Petrol fuel components in addition to a second fuel tank, with filler systems and piping, a vaporiser , a secondary ECU, and additional injectors. All this is necessary as the engine starts and warms up using Petrol, before that second ECU can intervene to cut the supply of Petrol, replacing it with LPG. All this gubins is so robust in its engineering because as its full name might suggest, to the more scientifically minded, Liquid Petroleum Gas needs to be stored under high pressure to be a liquid in the first place. Which is also why you have to connect that nozzle then stand well back, the liquid flowing through the pipes is icy cold, and your hand would stick to the nozzle if you were to touch it whilst filling up. So all this takes a little getting use to and can seem to be an utter nuisance compared to the standard Petrol alternative, until you remember that LPG is slightly cleaner and nearly half the price per litre.

Depending on your annual mileage that price difference can make for serious savings on fuel that can more that offset the additional purchase and servicing costs. Most popular with high mileage users, those running large capacity engined cars, and at one time, those venturing into London's Congestion Zone, LPG seems to have been slightly forgotten as an Eco option in favour of Hybrids and Electric vehicles. David's motivation for getting a Vectra in particular was more to do with the practicalities of having the full dealer support that came with all of Vauxhall's Duel Fuel range. Listed as a factory fitted LPG systems by Vauxhall, the conversion looks very similar to many professionally installed systems that I've encountered before. Vauxhall must have designed the Duel Fuel badges and checked the durability of the LPG system, but that seems to be the full extent of the system integration.

A change of career from Driving Instructor to Wedding DVD Creator, along with a growing family, instigated the need for change from his old Renault Clio to something bigger. More conventional options were considered, such as a Turbo Diesel Rover 75, but finally the change was made from duel control to Duel Fuel in April 2008. Regular work trips to London, meant that the then 4 year old 69 thousand mile Vectra would have to prove as reliable and economical as those more conventional alternatives. Five year on, and the now 9 year old car 120 thousand mile workhouse is showing it's fair share of marks and stains, but the man maths has worked out remarkably well. Reliability, economy, space, comfort, and usability, have all proved themselves, with the only complaint David could think of being about the silly reinvention of the indicator stalk mechanism that Vauxhall saw fit to inflict on mid 00's buyers.

I have to confess to being no fan of any of Vauxhalls products since the mid nineties, but sitting here in the car park of Creswell Ices after a lengthy drive via Newbiggin by the Sea, I have even more questions than when I picked up the car earlier that afternoon. The 1.8 litre engine is the base unit for these Vectra C's (as they are known) but I'm pleasantly surprised by its fruity note when pressed into action. At motorway speeds it also purrs away at 2-3 thousand RPM, but venture to more licence threatening speeds it all gets a bit too noisy. Still fuel economy will motivate most owners to avoid this particular failing, the less that brilliant gear-change might be harder to ignore. Sitting eating my 99, I take in the family warn interior, which has a fair share of pro's and con's. On the pro's list are the comfortable seats, neat centre console, with clear and detailed LCD display, comprehensive stereo with tape deck and 4 disc CD changer, and neat easy to find control clusters. The con's list is fairly short, but significant, the plastic quality isn't great as the heavy wear marks show, the wiper and indicator control stalks feel even cheaper than they look, and that clever display system hasn't been integrated with the LPG system so all the mpg and miles to empty figures are totally inaccurate.

Motorways, Duel Carriageways, and A roads are this car's (and Vauxhall's) forte, twisty bumpy back road most definitely are not. The slight vagueness of the steering is almost a bonus on those cruises, insulating you from hubbub and noise coming up from the road surface, but on these B roads just south of Druridge Bay, the lack of detail and body control leave you constantly correcting and re-correcting your course. Ice cream finished, I'm gonna have to take the long way back to try to find some sort of conclusion to this test. On the Duel Carriageway, try to regain that lost 20mph after letting some slow-coach into the outside lane, and you'll need an extra couple of gear changes before you're back up to cruising velocity. Which seems a shame because that Ecotec unit delivers healthy numbers on paper (125bhp and 123lb/ft torque), leading you to point the finger of blame at the gear ratios themselves.

I seem to have hit a rich vain of worthy yet ordinary cars recently with CkofS, and I guess that has to been expected as most of us can only justify modest budgets, and have wide and varied requirements for our motor vehicles. Measured it these terms, David's Vectra has to be given plenty of credit for delivering on a very diverse set of criteria. For a petrol-headed driver like me, it lacks some detail refinement, but to many, its owner included, it has all the gadgets and comforts, without too many horrors (bills included) to cause sleepless nights. And all that LPG paraphernalia? Well it is a shame that Vauxhall didn't work a little harder to deliver accurate mpg figures through that on board computer, maybe a better LPG fuel supply gauge, and a neater switch for choosing which fuel to run on. But if you do the miles, drive a big thirsty V8, or don't like those noisy diesels, then its probably still worth another look.

Thanks to David for the loan of his car.

ⓒ Dan Ewing 2013

Alistair's 2006 Volkswagen Jetta 1.9 TDi SE

Do you remember the time when the term 'family car' brought to mind a traditional three box saloon car? As a young kid, most of my Dads friends owned cars like MkIV Ford Cortina's, or Vauxhall Victor FE's. By the end of the 70's even the most conservative of manufacturers had introduced hatchbacks into their range, desperate to tempt in practicality hungry customers. Many Dads switched to hatchbacks as they became more readily available. My Dad, ever keen for an automotive bargain, was an early adopter, buying a Renault 16, which probably best lays claim to being the first production hatchback, its production run starting in 1965. In retrospect the Renault 4 could be considered the first, having been launched in 1961, and selling hundreds of thousands by 1965, but Renault always promoted it as a small estate even after the hatchback term had became common place.

Since then other types of car have vidid for Dads attention, and the ultimate family car crown. The estate, the people carrier, the SUV, and most recently, the crossover, have all fought alongside the hatchback to usurp the humble saloon, but to my mind, there should always be a space on every Dads driveway for a saloon car. Enter my friend Alistair, epitome of good fatherly behaviour, and owner of this good old fashioned family saloon. Sensible has evolved slightly in the past four decades and the chattering middle classes have whole-heartedly adopted German brands to equate quality, in a way Ford or Vauxhall can only hope to match. Pulling up outside Alistair's sensible semi-detached house, in the sensibly priced part of suburbia, every drive seems to have at least one Volkswagen parked on it.

A quick chat with Alistair over freshly ground coffee reveals his thinking when choosing his Jetta back in 2007. He had been one of those people carrier entombed fathers, running a VW Touran supplied on lease-hire through work. Able to claim a car allowance and keen to get away from the “van like Touran” the then one year old, four thousand mile Jetta was chosen for its TDi engine (which Alistair had liked well enough in the Touran), decent sized rear seats for the sprouting teenaged kids, and its large boot. The SE spec delivered a nicely appointed, well finished, neatly styled car, with decent equipment levels, including electric windows all round, cruise control, a very well laid out double DIN stereo, various safety acronyms, and airbags a plenty. The seats are well sculpted with plenty of support and adjustment, trimmed in an attractive yet durable looking grey fabric. Dash and trim panels all have a soft touch finish that is textured like elephant hide and will probably last as long too.

It being half term and this being an archetypical 'Dads car' I decide to embark on a day of father like errands in an attempt to get into the mind set of the saloon buying 21^st century Dad. First up, is a trip to Waves in Whitley Bay to drop the imaginary kids off to go swimming with their imaginary friends. First impressions are of a super sharp brake pedal action that is going to take a little getting use to; light, accurate steering; and a ride that can cope well with the terrible road surfaces, that are such a feature of our road network these days. In reality, I don't want to be seen hanging around Waves during half term for fear of being labelled as someone who's had the S's fall off his Speedos, so I head off in search of a twisty road, which I'm guessing most fathers don't get to enjoy to the full very often when transporting the wife and kids around. But my imaginary wife and kids aren't here, so I'm gonna press on through the corners to see what entertainment awaits 21^st century Dad.

The results aren't too bad, although a little noisier than I had expected, the 1.9 TDi delivers 103bhp and 184 lb/ft of torque which is enough to pick up decent pace between corners. The gear change is a little notchy, but not in an obtrusive way, so I actually grow to like it in a strange way. The unbranded tyres scrabble for grip in these slightly damp corners as I try to power out of the bends, triggering off the skidding car logo on the dash as the Electronic Stabilisation Programme kicks in to keep everything under control. There is virtually no feedback through the steering wheel as to what those front tyres are up to, so the first you know about it is a rise in engine revs as the ESP does its thing. Turning the ESP off just seems to make the front end weave around slightly as the front tyres spin off any excess power, so it seems best left switch on. As you get use to the limits of grip, you can work with the system well enough, and enjoy yourself to a reasonable degree.

Fooling around on back roads isn't getting this list of jobs done, so next up it a visit to Ikea in search of storage solutions. Cruising into town, then out towards the Metro Centre puts me into the kind of driving environment these family saloon cars are more comfortable with. All the minor controls fall easily to hand, the stereo and climate control are simplicity themselves to operate. Although most of the trim is black and grey, it doesn't feel too somber in here, and theres some nice brushed metal trim that runs all the way across the interior, adding to the overall feeling of quality. There are quite a few blank switch panels, including some on the steering wheel spokes that remind you that SE trim is VW speak for fairly standard really. Who knows how many option boxes you'd have had to tick before all those panels had switches and labels on them, but it wouldn't have been cheap, or added anything that you can't happily live without, it would seem.

Emerging from Ikea with a stack of barely necessary purchases reveals the one weakness of any saloon car, new or old, narrow boot access. The boot itself in huge, which is fortunate as I've bought more than I had planned, and Alistair has left the church football teams training gear in the boot (one of his many sensible pastimes). A slight rearrangement and my bulky boxes fit nicely after some jiggery-pokery that wouldn't have been necessary with a hatchback. Searching for somewhere to put my drink whilst I finish off my hotdog (or should that be horsedog, or maybe hothorse...) I realise just how well served this car is for useable storage. The side pockets are deep and well shaped to hold various items in place, there are various usefully size cubby holes in the centre console, and whilst retrieving my purchases from the boot later in the day I notice more clever storage solutions, including luggage tie-down hooks, side pockets, and a 'curry hook' to keep your takeaway upright as you rush back to feed the hungry hoards.

Imaginary fatherhood is wearing thin, I'm running late, need to get back to the coast, wash the car, and photograph it in a couple of family-esque locations. Dashing back along the A1058 Coast Road, I remember something Alistair mentioned about a peculiar noise from the turbo. Having not really noticed it yet, I turned off the radio to listen out for it and, nearing the Sainsbury's car park, it became very apparent. Sounding like a distant emergency vehicle siren whirring up and down in tone as the turbo changes its velocity. Unique to Alistair's car? It would seem not, coz whilst buying a carwash token, a Golf TDi goes past making the same distant whirring sound. Car washed and the first few photo's taken, and despite turning the radio back on, I now can't ignore that noise, once heard, forever present.

Another car park and the usual strange looks as I position then re-position the car to get a better backdrop, and I finally take time to notice the exterior styling properly. I also finally park my Golf with a boot / poor mans Passat prejudice as I take on board the neat styling and proportions of this Jetta. Technically this it the fifth generation Jetta, although the third and fourth generation cars were called Vento and Bora respectively in the UK, it is in many ways the best looking, as the new grill treatment leaves the sixth gen car looking a little gaudy and cheap to my eyes. Alistair regrets choosing the dark blue metallic colour, but I recon it looks good and emphasise the chrome detailing nicely. I particularly like the kink in the roofline around the rear side window that allows the C-piller to widen down to the waistline.  Mooching back to Volkswagen Avenue, I can't help but surmise that the 21^st century saloon still delivers everything the 21^st century Dad could need. As I hand the keys back to Alistair, he admits to having a nearly new Golf lined up as its replacement because he needs the more versatile boot configuration!

Thanks to Alistair for the loan of his car.
ⓒ Dan Ewing 2013

Mum & Dad's 2005 Nissan X-Trail SVE 2.2 dCi

There are all sorts of SUV's and off-road vehicles, and I've only ever been keen on a small number of an even smaller proportion of them. Old or new, I don't mind the really basic utilitarian mud sluggers, you know the original Land Rovers (and their later 90/110 /Defender variants), the Suzuki Jimny and it's SJ410 predecessor, the Jeep that pretty much got the market segment going in the first place, even the Lada Niva has a basic appeal, oh, and don't get me started on the Dacia Duster. I even quite like some of the gas guzzling, big engined (you know cubic capacities that read like phone numbers), be-turbo'd, luxo-palaces on wheels, mostly the Range Rover and Mercedes G-Wagon, but the odd Yank-tank if the mood takes me. The middle ground however, mostly Japanese, often a pick-up, with a load-bay cover, blacked out windows, and more chrome than a Halfords accessory catalog, they and their ilk leave me stone cold. They might have 4WD to balance out the handling somewhat, and healthy Turbo Diesel torque outputs, but all are heavier and tailer than a similarly spec'ed estate car, which would out perform its rugged counterpart everywhere, except off-road. And who's really gonna put 20-30 grands worth of shinny new SUV through some serious rough terrain hardship in the first place?

Enter my parents Nissan X-Trail, bought new in August 2005, with un-characteristic frivolity when it came to choosing the specification. The 2.2 diesel with its six speed manual 'box was probably the best UK option, the SVE spec level choice effectively ticked all the manufacturer options boxes, with only a few dealer fit options such as bull-bars and lamp-packs of questionable taste left on the shelf for another spend-easy to waste their pension money on. So as you approach the car you're greeted by metallic black paint, alloy wheels, chrome door handles, and privacy-glass windows. Clamber aboard and the list continues, leather, climate control, large screen Sat-Nav, heated seats, powerful stereo, cruise control, electric everything, including the massive glazed sunroof that you don't notice from outside because it sits out of sight, above your line of sight. The first thing I normally do when driving this car is adjust everything, move the seat back, down, and back some more, the steering wheel needs to shift up slightly, then the rear view mirrors, after that, a prescribed pause before starting the engine, before finally, the change of radio station away from that crackly LW Radio 4 drone.

The festive duties nearly over, I've returned my parents to their home on the seafront between Barmouth and Harlech, and can chill out for a few days before returning to the North East for New Years Eve entertainment with friends. Its a nice quiet day, and amazingly for North Wales (and British winters in general), the sun is out, albeit low in the sky. I've already been to Barmouth and back with Mother in search of food supplies to survive through to the weekend, so with only an hour or so's daylight left I'm keen to head out and get some photos taken. This is a thin but usable excuse to trace the rest of the A496 that runs out from Dolgellau to Barmouth, then along the coast through Harlech, Ynys (pronounce the Y's as I's) and Talsarnau (don't ask, I'm not sure), before heading inland beside what I thing is called the Crigyll estuary. This bit of the A496 can be especially good fun as most of the traffic turns off at the toll bridge in search of Penrhyndeudraeth and Porthmadog (I'm not making these up, honest), there are a few nice passing places to deal with any errant view seekers, and some seriously entertaining twisty bits on which to hone your skills.

With the sun sinking ever westward into the Irish Sea, I turn around at Maentwrog where the A496 crosses the A487 (its worth carrying on along the A496 all the way to Blaenau Ffestiniog if you're not rushed for time like I am), stopping opposite The Grapes Hotel to take the first few photo's outside an old stone built garage that I covet every time I pass this way. It's usually whilst photographing cars, that I really start to take on board their details properly. These first generation X-Trails had centre mounted displays with a correspondingly geometric dash top and centre console layout. This allows for some interesting features, like the extra vent that can direct cool air at the drivers face through the top of the steering wheel, and a useful storage bin beyond it with a 5 volt power socket (great for charging a mobile phone or or wiring up the iPod). The Sat-Nav screen dominates the console with large easy to use buttons beneath helping to age the devise, along with the dated software. The single din stereo is covered with fiddly little buttons, but easier to use steering wheel mounted controls negate their use most of the time. Three large round dials with push button centres make setting the climate control easy work too, although they can mostly be set to auto and left to both, keep occupants cosy and windows clear.

With the light fading fast, I hurry back along the estuary road in search of a farmers lay-by with a suitably picturesque backdrop for one or two final picture. Clambering in and out several times to adjust the cars situation in the landscape, I understand why Mum and Dad like the elevated seating position of these SUV's so much. Climbing aboard and disembarking can be a lot easier than in the standard family runaround. Other popular features include the heated seats which keep Mum happy, and deep cup holders which help keep Dad refreshed. The exterior styling is unashamedly chunky with large wheel arches, sturdy bumpers, and 'big' detailing, such as large lamp clusters and substantial D pillars. The looks might be a bit too rugged for my taste, but it'd be unfair to deny that this is a well proportioned nicely finished vehicle. And there is no denying that this is a very rugged vehicle. I've never had the opportunity, or more to the point, the knobbly tyres and back-up crew to try this thing off-road to any great extent, but if its capacity to shrug off snow and severe rain is anything to go by, I suspect it would prove itself competent at the very least.

This view of its potential off-road capabilities is enhanced by its on road abilities. The 2.2 litre common rail turbo diesel is a fairly old fashioned noisy brute of an engine, but it delivers 136bhp and rather healthy 232lb/ft. The 0-60mph and fuel consumption don't sound too great on paper (at 11 point something and 39mpg) but that useable torque makes for pretty good cross country performance, with reasonable real world mpg figures. Pressing on along the old B4573 back into Harlech, the 2WD transmission mode which helps increase that mpg a little, also starts to leave the front tyres with just a little too much to do, as they start to scrabble for grip in the leaf mulch covered corners. Flicking over to the AUTO mode, brings the rear drivetrain into action as necessary and quelling any understeer quite nicely. There always seems to be a higher or lower gear ready and waiting in that six speed 'box too. Mooching the last few miles back to my folks house for another cup of tea and an episode of Dads Army before dinner, it dawns on me, just how fond I have become of this X-Trail over the years. It's a straight forward, honest old fella, that is comfortable with who and what it is. It is willing to play on twisty roads to the best of its abilities, chomp its way through big motorway journeys, and do a myriad of other mundane but useful tasks. You could almost call it a sports utility vehicle really....

Thanks to Mum & Dad for the loan of their car. (now as always!)
ⓒ Dan Ewing 2013

Kris' 1997 Peugeot 106 independence 1.1

Everyone should have a car like this at least once in their lifetime, a car that you are not so much the owner of, as the temporary custodian for future cash strapped motorists. You rarely buy these cars by choice, but rather out of a necessity for personal motorised transport on limited funds. In fact you rarely actually pay money for them at all, and if you do, it's more likely to be the price of a flat screen tele, the insurance will cost three times as much. Quite often they bare an incredible resemblance to the first car we or one of our mates had, sharing a lot of the same attributes, more often than not acquiring simple nicknames, and ending up engraved on our hearts. These 'stop gap' cars often have at least one significant mechanical flaw, maybe even several, and plenty of minor faults and foibles that should leave you in disgust, cursing the day you ever clapped eyes on the blasted thing. Yet years later we still regale happy tails of former ownership to anyone who will listen, should we spot one in the street.

Purchased for the princely some of £100 from a colleague by Kris' sister Suzanne (her with the Focus TDDi) as a work tool back in June 2009. Regularly borrowed by their dad Eddie throughout 2010, by the summer of 2011 finances finally permitted the Ford purchase, so custody was handed to Kris who needed a cheap motor for commuting to his night shifts. In the best 'stop gap' fashion, Alan is a special edition, and not just any special edition, but an especially cheap french special edition. The recipe is simple enough, take any base model small hatchback, throw some gaudy fabric at the interior, add a limited choice of bright paint colours, liberally cover with model badges of questionable taste, maybe a tilting sunroof, and voila, one infinitely more desirable sales success. Well a car that is cheap to build coz of the limited model variations, and that can be revised quickly for the cost of a new sticker design and a quick change to the paint supply order.

And that is exactly the formula used to create this face-lifted phase II Peugeot 106. An 1.1 XN 5 door in an eye searing metallic electric blue, with equally bright blue and black weave pattern seats and trim, a raft of 'independence' badges make it hard to forget that this is a special edition, but at least that tilting sunroof adds some serious luxury! Basic by late 90's standards meant wind up windows, no air-con just a fan heater, a radio cassette player (stereo with FM mind), and manually adjusted wing mirror controls. Scrapping the snow off to head out for a run reveals many battle scars. On the nearside there is trim missing from the front wing, the side mirror is held on with gaffa tape, and the rear door is dented. The offside has suffered too, all the trim is missing from that side, including a bit of the rear bumper. Poor Alan looks like he's been through a hedge backwards.

Climbing inside and the hard black plastics have faired a little better, but not much. The rubber buttons on numeric keypad for the immobiliser have worn through, the soft touch plastic on the steering wheel is pitted and worn, and nearly 16 years of use have thankfully dulled those seat fabrics down slightly. Going to adjust the offside wing mirror, the lever moves around but the mirror doesn't, the nearside lever is missing altogether. Several aftermarket accessories are scattered across the dash top, including various cup-holders and air-fresheners. It's quick a nice place to be though, space is okay, and a good seating position can be found, even in spite of pedals that are heavily off set to the left because of the encroaching wheel arch.

Turn the key in the ignition and nothing, oh yeah, that immobiliser code. Beep, beep, beep, beep, the red LED goes off, a green LED comes on, turn the key again and the 8 value four cylinder churns into life, all 59bhp and 67lb/ft of it. The engine sounds healthier than I'd expected, the exhaust however is blowing a bit, thanks to Kris' gun-ho speed-bump technique. Selecting first reveals quite a lot of play in the gear linkage that I think is down to age rather than poor engineering. Driving up the coast through Whitley Bay and the brake pedal seems a little spongy. Kris has topped up the power steering fluid recently so the steer weight is near perfect and for now at least works quietly. Out on the A193 through Hartley, Seaton Sluice, and towards Blyth, a health cruise can be maintained, although that exhaust does start to get noisy at speed.

The basic nature of this car is endearing, a large buttoned single DIN stereo tops off the centre console, next down are two sliders and a dial to controls the ventilation, a neat row of five large round buttons and a large ashtray (that refuses to stay shut) more or less completes the gadget list. To the left is a decent glovebox and yet another independence badge, to the right, the airbag fitted steering wheel, with a nicely shaped instrument panel behind. Even that is basic, with a large round speedo on the left and a large analog clock on the right, a semi circular fuel gauge above them, and a row of warning lamps across the bottom. The rectangular air vents look strangely old skool compared to the retro round items found in a lot of modern cars. Those round push buttons, the interior door handles, and the nifty map lamp all remind me of my old 205 GTi.

Todays snow covered roads don't really allow for much exploration of the handling, but I've had a fair amount of previous with various base spec phase I 106's in the early 90's, and had regular access to a near identical Citroen Saxo in the mid and late 90's (Paul with the Yaris had one with the inclusive insurance deal). Even these basic 1.1's encapsulate a lot of the entertainment capacity that made the 205 GTi legendary. It's the way the suspension absorbs the bumps whilst still allowing you to carry substantial speed through the corner, that and the purity of the steering. 8v engines were a bit old hat by the late 90's but they deliver a handy amount of torque lower down the rev range, and there's not that need press on to the redline like you do with 16v units. The skinny 155/70 R13 tyres grip well, but match the available power nicely, so that you can play around with the level of grip, all without breaking the national speed limit.

Alan and his ilk are just so enjoyable to drive, and are able and willing to be driven as hard as possible without drawing too much attention to themselves. Sitting in the back is no great hardship for a short ride to the pub and the amount of gear we could get into the back of Paul's Saxo was amazing. When you start to think about how cheap these cars can be to buy, insure, and run, then even a petrol-head like me starts to wonder about downsizing. Maybe a 1.4 petrol or the 1.5 diesel so that overtaking isn't so nerve-wracking, or perhaps a 106 GTi or a Saxo VTS, but no, the costs and spec start to rise, and the anonymity starts to disappear. And that is probably what makes these 'stop gap' cars so loveable, our expectations start out low, and budgetary requirements force us to accept certain fault, but in spite of their basic, humble, and often rundown state, we end up adoring them for the freedom of mobility that they deliver. Too all the Alan's of this world, we salute you.

Thanks to Kris for the loan of his car.
ⓒ Dan Ewing 2013

Jan's 2012 Nissan Juke Tekna 1.5 dCi 2WD

The country roads within the Bedford, Luton, Milton Keynes triangle have been hit hard by the scourge of blanket 40 and 50mph speed restrictions, but not all of my old favourites have been scuppered. The Christmas festivities have drawn me south to visit my brothers family, so I've taken the opportunity to head out in my sister-in-law's car for an hour or two, as much to escape the delights of shared family-time, as to write this article. Like an M.P. who is duty bound to declare their 'interest' in a discussion to avoid later being accused of swaying the debate for personal gain, I must admit to having extensive prior connections where Nissan is concerned. I did work for Nissan at their Technical Centres in Cranfield and Sunderland, my brother Matthew still does, and he gets not one but two company cars. So I am more than familiar with and have had regular access to a fair chunk of the Nissan range, past and present.

Being a Tekna this Juke started off near the top of the spec tree and has hit most of the option branches on the way down. There's a good quality leather interior, with a very clever touch screen Sat Nav-Audio system that seems able to connect with all the latest gadgets. The small steering wheel has a raft of audio and phone controls as well as cruise controls. There is a very neat centre console that switches between climate and driver info controls. Headlamp and wiper stalks all have auto modes that reduce the frequency with which you need to reach for them in the first place. Outside there's quality metallic paint, funky alloy wheels, privacy glass in the rear set of windows, and a nifty keyless entry system that means that as long as you have the keys on your person, you can get in and start the car.

These Jukes seem to look bigger and bulkier than the measurements would suggest, the high bonnet and waistline feed into shapely rear wings beneath the a narrow glass house and pinched roof. It's certainly a very fresh new design that steps away from the oft tread retro small car route. I like some of the styling details but find others vaguely annoying. I love the high mounted front lamp clusters, especially when viewed from the drivers seat at night, but am disappointed to discover that only the side light and indicators shine out from them, the dipped and full beam both come from the lamp lenses in the bumpers. The roofline in itself would look good on a low slung 3 door coupe but seems a little odd perched on top of this 5 door sudo SUV body. And it seems a shame to make these cars without 4WD, even if it does enhance the economy.

The 1.5 turbo diesel engine is a Nissan-Renault alliance stalwart with a healthy 108bhp and 177 ft/lb of torque, that combined with regular shifting of the six speed 'box, delivers decent pace at any speed. Steady driving seems to deliver healthy fuel consumption of nearly 60mpg and even the heavy footed will get figures in the high 30's. The performance feels brisk rather than rapid, but a good cross country gait can be easily achieved. The steering seems very sharp and direct, although there doesn't seem to be a huge amount of feedback through the wheel. The ride is on the firm side, but not too harsh as it never seems to get overwhelmed by bigger bumps or potholes, which is impressive considering the fairly short wheel base. The firm ride also aids the handling which feels reassuringly good, although the combination of high seating position and a fair amount lean through the corners does leave you feeling a little prone when pressing on.

Over lunch Jan starts quizzing me as to what I'm gonna write about her car, and my response is a little flat. The Juke seems to be a very popular car, you see them around everywhere, and Nissan's Sunderland factory can't make them quickly enough. In purely objective terms, it is a very competent, practical car, with plenty of useful features and details, and only a few compromises in the name of style. Yet I can't quite seem to gel with it, I can't quite engage with it on a favourite stretch of road in a way that leaves me wanting to double back and do it all over again. I like some of the visual details, yet can't help but feel that as a whole, it ends up looking a little odd and fussy.

Maybe it's the whole crossover thing, and the fact that these cars aren't really aimed at someone like me, who rates dynamics and feel over efficiency and practicality. This is the newest and most valuable car I've tested so far, and I'd bet that nobody, myself included, could find much to complain about, if they were given one of these Juke's as their runaround. It's just that given the same amount of money to choose for myself, I'd be swayed by a more conventional coupe, or if practicality really dictated, a straight forward executive estate car. But that is the beauty of the raft of automobiles available to us the consumer, the end user. What I might see as small, cramped, dull or weird, others will lord as compact, cosy, easy to drive, and striking. Likewise my ideal of a powerful, discrete, and capacious car, others will chastise as a gas guzzling, drab, barge.

I can't conclude that the Nissan Juke is a bad car, or even that Nissan need to make some changes to improve it to suit me more. It is a good car, and for many people, like Jan, it will be a great car that does everything they want well. Am I right? Is Jan wrong? The answer to both questions is the same. Our requirements are just different and so our evaluation of this and any car will always differ. There will never be one perfect car, that does everything superbly, and everyone rates equally well. The vast variety of user requirements, the evolution of technology, even the changing environment in which we live, will always drive forward and change our view point of any given car new or old. And so it should do, variety is after all the spice of live.

Thanks to Jan for the loan of her car.
ⓒ Dan Ewing 2013

Andy's 1988 Porsche 928 S4

It has just gone noon, but the puddles at the end of the drive are still frozen solid, despite the best efforts of the late November sun. My nerves are jangling big time as I back this big brute of a sports car down the crowded drive, between various parked cars, and onto the cul-de-sac beyond. Andy jumps into the passenger seat, I slide the lever into drive, prod the throttle gingerly, and we burble off down the still frosty streets of Glenrothes. Having the owner ride alongside as a passenger is a first for Car Keys of Separation, but my cousin seems contented enough, so I take a deep breath to settle myself. The first few miles are a bit of a blur, I'm lost and disoriented, unsure of where I am as we rumble our way through Scotland's answer to Milton Keynes. More of a worry is how slippery these main roads are and how much grip those substantial 225 45 R17 front and 255 40 R17 rear tyres are going to give.

As we pick up the M90 and head towards Perth for a bit, the numbing fear subsides as does the worry that this car is going to be an uncontrollable handful. I've remembered the best way to use the floor hinged accelerator, sliding my heel into the base of the pedal and accelerating with a point of my right toe. The large brake pedal is an easy reach away, and this being an Auto, my left foot is pinned to the well located footrest for the duration of the afternoon. Even a short time behind the wheel make the size of this car less imposing, sure the bonnet slopes out of sight in front of you, and the rear wings loom large in the side mirrors, but it doesn't look or feel quite as enormous on this motorway as it did in that driveway. It still feels wide every time we have to squeeze our way though another narrow village high street, although it could have been worse, apparently they chopped 3" out of the width early in development when someone noticed that it would be too wide for the European car train wagons.

Just west of Perth, we pick up the A85 towards Crieff. This is one of Andy's favourite biking roads and I can see why. The scenery is great even when the rain clouds close in and offload for a while. The road has that great combo of twisty, with the odd straight section, and most importantly not too heavy with traffic. Overtaking couldn't be easier, spot a straight, pull out, plant the throttle to the floor, wait a moment, then the 'box kicks down a few gears, the engine revs rise and the car surges at the horizon in a roar of meaty V8 growl and howl. This 5.0 litre S4 has gained a few tweaks, many of them from Porsche themselves, like the sports exhaust, those Cup wheels, a GTS rear bumper panel and rear wing, plus a Superchip to round things off. Performance figures are probably somewhere north of the factory 316bhp and 317ft/lb torque and the 0-60 has probably dropped below the original 5.7 seconds too.

We pull up in a lay-by to take some photos by the river that flows from Loch Earn and we both stand there clicking away with our camera phones for quite a while. I once would have listed this as my least favourite front engined Porsche, but the proportions look so much better in the metal. We flick the headlights on for effect and I notice the sculpting of the lamp housings for the first time. A panel neatly fills the hole left by the upturned lamp and the housing itself is reminiscent of those chrome units pre-war cars have. The revised rear lights and bumper of the S4 freshened the exterior appearance compared to the earlier cars, the detailing being the only thing that dates these 928's at all. The polyurethane front and rear bumpers were quite a rarity in 1978 when the 4.5 litre car was launched, but were commonplace by the time the last 5.4 litre GTS's left the factory in 1995.

Popping the bonnet reveals a masterpiece of engineering, that 32 value V8 is quite a snug fit under the narrow bonnet that resulted from that width reduction. The lack of space can make maintenance work a bit of a nightmare as bumper and wing removal becomes necessary. There is says Andy, just enough space at the front of the engine bay for a supercharger, courtesy of one or two clever American manufacturers. I can see the appeal, but with miles of greasy grit covered roads waiting ahead, I'm quite glad he hasn't succumb to the temptation just yet. The stop has made us realise the time and our bellies so we decide to press on to St Fillans and The Lochside Larder for lunch. As we pull out of the lay-by I decide to give it full chat, in the name of research you understand, the rear wheels instantly break traction, accompanied by that sound only wet rubber on wet road can make. I'm expecting the power to wain and the tyres to regain grip, instead, the 'box changes into second and the whizzing noise continues. I finally run out of space and steering lock, so lift off, straighten up, and return to the correct side of the road. We are chuckling away like school boys and Andy eventually confirm that it'll just keep spinning those wheels 'til the tyres are shredded.

Over lunch Andy recounts how he first fell for the Porsche 928 as a child when a school friends dad bought one and he was taken for a spin in it. I think seeing my old 944 Lux at a family get together rekindled Andy's love for the 928, coz by the next spring he'd found this cherished and cosseted low mileage example online. The sound of that sports exhaust in a video clip was the final clincher, so in February 2010 he got the cash out of the bank, made his way down south to complete the deal and collect his new toy. The then owner was almost in tears when Andy arrived. The owners wife put the kettle on, and worried that the whole deal was about to fall through, Andy put the cash on the kitchen table. This did the trick, and a hasty retreat was made before Geoff could change his mind again.

Dropping down into the drivers seat yet again, I'm more able to take in my surroundings than earlier in the day. Andy was busy last winter, fitting a new tan coloured carpet set, black leather seats, and an after market stereo complete with monster sub speaker in the boot. It all looks a lot better than the original eighties-tastic white leather with white carpets. Many of the details will be familiar to anyone who has been in any 80's Porsche, though the dash and centre console do give away the late 70's origin of the design somewhat. The four round black dials have simple white graphics and are flanked on either side by four large round buttons for minor controls. Two sliders, a knob, and an A/C button complete the ventilation controls in the centre console and a trio of easy to reach stalks control the major controls and cruise control.

You sit very low in these uniquely shaped two piece Recaro seats that hold you in place perfectly on the move. There are 12 control buttons on the side so finding the perfect position is easy enough. Your legs are stretched out fairly flat in front of you and that steering wheel does seem to sit in your lap at first, but its all very comfortable and cosy. There are some fantastic details in here too, like the door pocket lids that swing open with a thump press. The four spoke black leather steering wheel has the classic 'PORSCHE' script embossed on the horn pad and wonderfully tactile stitching that runs around the inside of the rim.

I'm really starting to enjoy this car as we weave our way around Loch Earn then turn south onto the A84 past Loch Lubnaig. I start using the auto lever to hold the 'box in third, keeping the revs a little higher and feeding the car from corner to corner with more conviction. It's amazing how agile and controllable this big car is starting to feel as you sweep through the bends, how quick and unruffled it can be in such tricky conditions. I'm also able to take onboard the detail of that engine note as the revs rise and fall. Below 1500rpm you barely hear the engine at all and would be hard pressed to identify what configuration it was. Between 1500 and 2000rpm there is a subtle but beautiful warbling noise that can only be a V8 coming to life. As the revs rise the note hardens until that sports exhaust really starts to join in after 3500rpm and the thing really starts to roar. It's an absolutely fabulous sound that I never tired of, even later on in the evening, at the end of our long trip.

Before we reach Callander, we peal off onto the narrow little A821 that runs west past Loch Venachar and Loch Achray, before turning south for Aberfoyle. This is a twisty old strip of tarmac with no one else on it, so I drop the lever into second and really start to press on through the corners. With good visibility of the road ahead I press harder and harder into each corner with no sign of reaching the cars limits. The weight of the steering is superb, the ride is firm but never harsh, the handling is sweet, with great feedback through the controls. I don't mind automatic gearboxes, providing there is a decent amount of engine power to compensate for the drivetrain power losses and slight delay in reactions. This short stretch of road is the only point at which I wonder what the 5 speed manual would be like. That Auto 'box in more than welcome though as darkness falls and we thread our way east towards Stirling and back to Glenrothes.

I must confess that the Porsche 928 has never been a 'Hero Car' of mine, I haven't coveted one since childhood like Andy has, but it is a legend of a car and has migrated its way up my mental list of 'Must Drive' cars over the year. History can be a little hard on the 928, that was originally conceived as a replacement for the 911, which being rear engined was about to fall foul of new regulations in the valuable American market. Those regulations never arrived, turbo technology and new company management meant the iconic 911 could be developed further than was previously expected, and all the front engined models kind of got snubbed for being too conventional. The truth is that they were and are great sports car that made healthy profits for Porsche who could then afford to make the heavy investments that the 911 needed to survive. This snobbery does mean that these front engined cars are a lot cheaper to buy than their 911 counterparts. Maybe the 928 should make the transition onto my mental 'Must Own' list before too many more people work that out.

Thanks to Andy for the loan of his car.
ⓒ Dan Ewing 2012