David's 2004 Vauxhall Vectra 1.8 Elegance Duel Fuel

I have done this a few times before, but not for quite a few years now, and even then, not very often. Now I'm stuck at the first hurdle. I can't even get the filling nozzle to un-catch from the LPG pump. The forecourt attendant pops over, gives the nozzle a more determined tug than I had dared to try, and hands it to me. Sheepishly, I am now able to line up the nozzle with the filler socket that lies beneath the secondary fuel cap, and turn a catch to secure the two together. The filler nozzle has a handle similar to that on a petrol pump, but clasping it shut doesn't deliver the fuel, nor does securing the clip that locks the handle in the fully open position (do you remember when petrol pumps had them too?). Over on the pump, next to the display panel, is a large button, press and hold this, and Petroleum Gas flows in Liquid form from the pump through the chunky connections and into the robust tank that sits where the spare tyre should be. Why all this heavy engineering? And why bother with LPG at all?

Fair questions, and there are plenty more that can be asked. LPG cars require all the same Petrol fuel components in addition to a second fuel tank, with filler systems and piping, a vaporiser , a secondary ECU, and additional injectors. All this is necessary as the engine starts and warms up using Petrol, before that second ECU can intervene to cut the supply of Petrol, replacing it with LPG. All this gubins is so robust in its engineering because as its full name might suggest, to the more scientifically minded, Liquid Petroleum Gas needs to be stored under high pressure to be a liquid in the first place. Which is also why you have to connect that nozzle then stand well back, the liquid flowing through the pipes is icy cold, and your hand would stick to the nozzle if you were to touch it whilst filling up. So all this takes a little getting use to and can seem to be an utter nuisance compared to the standard Petrol alternative, until you remember that LPG is slightly cleaner and nearly half the price per litre.

Depending on your annual mileage that price difference can make for serious savings on fuel that can more that offset the additional purchase and servicing costs. Most popular with high mileage users, those running large capacity engined cars, and at one time, those venturing into London's Congestion Zone, LPG seems to have been slightly forgotten as an Eco option in favour of Hybrids and Electric vehicles. David's motivation for getting a Vectra in particular was more to do with the practicalities of having the full dealer support that came with all of Vauxhall's Duel Fuel range. Listed as a factory fitted LPG systems by Vauxhall, the conversion looks very similar to many professionally installed systems that I've encountered before. Vauxhall must have designed the Duel Fuel badges and checked the durability of the LPG system, but that seems to be the full extent of the system integration.

A change of career from Driving Instructor to Wedding DVD Creator, along with a growing family, instigated the need for change from his old Renault Clio to something bigger. More conventional options were considered, such as a Turbo Diesel Rover 75, but finally the change was made from duel control to Duel Fuel in April 2008. Regular work trips to London, meant that the then 4 year old 69 thousand mile Vectra would have to prove as reliable and economical as those more conventional alternatives. Five year on, and the now 9 year old car 120 thousand mile workhouse is showing it's fair share of marks and stains, but the man maths has worked out remarkably well. Reliability, economy, space, comfort, and usability, have all proved themselves, with the only complaint David could think of being about the silly reinvention of the indicator stalk mechanism that Vauxhall saw fit to inflict on mid 00's buyers.

I have to confess to being no fan of any of Vauxhalls products since the mid nineties, but sitting here in the car park of Creswell Ices after a lengthy drive via Newbiggin by the Sea, I have even more questions than when I picked up the car earlier that afternoon. The 1.8 litre engine is the base unit for these Vectra C's (as they are known) but I'm pleasantly surprised by its fruity note when pressed into action. At motorway speeds it also purrs away at 2-3 thousand RPM, but venture to more licence threatening speeds it all gets a bit too noisy. Still fuel economy will motivate most owners to avoid this particular failing, the less that brilliant gear-change might be harder to ignore. Sitting eating my 99, I take in the family warn interior, which has a fair share of pro's and con's. On the pro's list are the comfortable seats, neat centre console, with clear and detailed LCD display, comprehensive stereo with tape deck and 4 disc CD changer, and neat easy to find control clusters. The con's list is fairly short, but significant, the plastic quality isn't great as the heavy wear marks show, the wiper and indicator control stalks feel even cheaper than they look, and that clever display system hasn't been integrated with the LPG system so all the mpg and miles to empty figures are totally inaccurate.

Motorways, Duel Carriageways, and A roads are this car's (and Vauxhall's) forte, twisty bumpy back road most definitely are not. The slight vagueness of the steering is almost a bonus on those cruises, insulating you from hubbub and noise coming up from the road surface, but on these B roads just south of Druridge Bay, the lack of detail and body control leave you constantly correcting and re-correcting your course. Ice cream finished, I'm gonna have to take the long way back to try to find some sort of conclusion to this test. On the Duel Carriageway, try to regain that lost 20mph after letting some slow-coach into the outside lane, and you'll need an extra couple of gear changes before you're back up to cruising velocity. Which seems a shame because that Ecotec unit delivers healthy numbers on paper (125bhp and 123lb/ft torque), leading you to point the finger of blame at the gear ratios themselves.

I seem to have hit a rich vain of worthy yet ordinary cars recently with CkofS, and I guess that has to been expected as most of us can only justify modest budgets, and have wide and varied requirements for our motor vehicles. Measured it these terms, David's Vectra has to be given plenty of credit for delivering on a very diverse set of criteria. For a petrol-headed driver like me, it lacks some detail refinement, but to many, its owner included, it has all the gadgets and comforts, without too many horrors (bills included) to cause sleepless nights. And all that LPG paraphernalia? Well it is a shame that Vauxhall didn't work a little harder to deliver accurate mpg figures through that on board computer, maybe a better LPG fuel supply gauge, and a neater switch for choosing which fuel to run on. But if you do the miles, drive a big thirsty V8, or don't like those noisy diesels, then its probably still worth another look.

Thanks to David for the loan of his car.

ⓒ Dan Ewing 2013

Alistair's 2006 Volkswagen Jetta 1.9 TDi SE

Do you remember the time when the term 'family car' brought to mind a traditional three box saloon car? As a young kid, most of my Dads friends owned cars like MkIV Ford Cortina's, or Vauxhall Victor FE's. By the end of the 70's even the most conservative of manufacturers had introduced hatchbacks into their range, desperate to tempt in practicality hungry customers. Many Dads switched to hatchbacks as they became more readily available. My Dad, ever keen for an automotive bargain, was an early adopter, buying a Renault 16, which probably best lays claim to being the first production hatchback, its production run starting in 1965. In retrospect the Renault 4 could be considered the first, having been launched in 1961, and selling hundreds of thousands by 1965, but Renault always promoted it as a small estate even after the hatchback term had became common place.

Since then other types of car have vidid for Dads attention, and the ultimate family car crown. The estate, the people carrier, the SUV, and most recently, the crossover, have all fought alongside the hatchback to usurp the humble saloon, but to my mind, there should always be a space on every Dads driveway for a saloon car. Enter my friend Alistair, epitome of good fatherly behaviour, and owner of this good old fashioned family saloon. Sensible has evolved slightly in the past four decades and the chattering middle classes have whole-heartedly adopted German brands to equate quality, in a way Ford or Vauxhall can only hope to match. Pulling up outside Alistair's sensible semi-detached house, in the sensibly priced part of suburbia, every drive seems to have at least one Volkswagen parked on it.

A quick chat with Alistair over freshly ground coffee reveals his thinking when choosing his Jetta back in 2007. He had been one of those people carrier entombed fathers, running a VW Touran supplied on lease-hire through work. Able to claim a car allowance and keen to get away from the “van like Touran” the then one year old, four thousand mile Jetta was chosen for its TDi engine (which Alistair had liked well enough in the Touran), decent sized rear seats for the sprouting teenaged kids, and its large boot. The SE spec delivered a nicely appointed, well finished, neatly styled car, with decent equipment levels, including electric windows all round, cruise control, a very well laid out double DIN stereo, various safety acronyms, and airbags a plenty. The seats are well sculpted with plenty of support and adjustment, trimmed in an attractive yet durable looking grey fabric. Dash and trim panels all have a soft touch finish that is textured like elephant hide and will probably last as long too.

It being half term and this being an archetypical 'Dads car' I decide to embark on a day of father like errands in an attempt to get into the mind set of the saloon buying 21^st century Dad. First up, is a trip to Waves in Whitley Bay to drop the imaginary kids off to go swimming with their imaginary friends. First impressions are of a super sharp brake pedal action that is going to take a little getting use to; light, accurate steering; and a ride that can cope well with the terrible road surfaces, that are such a feature of our road network these days. In reality, I don't want to be seen hanging around Waves during half term for fear of being labelled as someone who's had the S's fall off his Speedos, so I head off in search of a twisty road, which I'm guessing most fathers don't get to enjoy to the full very often when transporting the wife and kids around. But my imaginary wife and kids aren't here, so I'm gonna press on through the corners to see what entertainment awaits 21^st century Dad.

The results aren't too bad, although a little noisier than I had expected, the 1.9 TDi delivers 103bhp and 184 lb/ft of torque which is enough to pick up decent pace between corners. The gear change is a little notchy, but not in an obtrusive way, so I actually grow to like it in a strange way. The unbranded tyres scrabble for grip in these slightly damp corners as I try to power out of the bends, triggering off the skidding car logo on the dash as the Electronic Stabilisation Programme kicks in to keep everything under control. There is virtually no feedback through the steering wheel as to what those front tyres are up to, so the first you know about it is a rise in engine revs as the ESP does its thing. Turning the ESP off just seems to make the front end weave around slightly as the front tyres spin off any excess power, so it seems best left switch on. As you get use to the limits of grip, you can work with the system well enough, and enjoy yourself to a reasonable degree.

Fooling around on back roads isn't getting this list of jobs done, so next up it a visit to Ikea in search of storage solutions. Cruising into town, then out towards the Metro Centre puts me into the kind of driving environment these family saloon cars are more comfortable with. All the minor controls fall easily to hand, the stereo and climate control are simplicity themselves to operate. Although most of the trim is black and grey, it doesn't feel too somber in here, and theres some nice brushed metal trim that runs all the way across the interior, adding to the overall feeling of quality. There are quite a few blank switch panels, including some on the steering wheel spokes that remind you that SE trim is VW speak for fairly standard really. Who knows how many option boxes you'd have had to tick before all those panels had switches and labels on them, but it wouldn't have been cheap, or added anything that you can't happily live without, it would seem.

Emerging from Ikea with a stack of barely necessary purchases reveals the one weakness of any saloon car, new or old, narrow boot access. The boot itself in huge, which is fortunate as I've bought more than I had planned, and Alistair has left the church football teams training gear in the boot (one of his many sensible pastimes). A slight rearrangement and my bulky boxes fit nicely after some jiggery-pokery that wouldn't have been necessary with a hatchback. Searching for somewhere to put my drink whilst I finish off my hotdog (or should that be horsedog, or maybe hothorse...) I realise just how well served this car is for useable storage. The side pockets are deep and well shaped to hold various items in place, there are various usefully size cubby holes in the centre console, and whilst retrieving my purchases from the boot later in the day I notice more clever storage solutions, including luggage tie-down hooks, side pockets, and a 'curry hook' to keep your takeaway upright as you rush back to feed the hungry hoards.

Imaginary fatherhood is wearing thin, I'm running late, need to get back to the coast, wash the car, and photograph it in a couple of family-esque locations. Dashing back along the A1058 Coast Road, I remember something Alistair mentioned about a peculiar noise from the turbo. Having not really noticed it yet, I turned off the radio to listen out for it and, nearing the Sainsbury's car park, it became very apparent. Sounding like a distant emergency vehicle siren whirring up and down in tone as the turbo changes its velocity. Unique to Alistair's car? It would seem not, coz whilst buying a carwash token, a Golf TDi goes past making the same distant whirring sound. Car washed and the first few photo's taken, and despite turning the radio back on, I now can't ignore that noise, once heard, forever present.

Another car park and the usual strange looks as I position then re-position the car to get a better backdrop, and I finally take time to notice the exterior styling properly. I also finally park my Golf with a boot / poor mans Passat prejudice as I take on board the neat styling and proportions of this Jetta. Technically this it the fifth generation Jetta, although the third and fourth generation cars were called Vento and Bora respectively in the UK, it is in many ways the best looking, as the new grill treatment leaves the sixth gen car looking a little gaudy and cheap to my eyes. Alistair regrets choosing the dark blue metallic colour, but I recon it looks good and emphasise the chrome detailing nicely. I particularly like the kink in the roofline around the rear side window that allows the C-piller to widen down to the waistline.  Mooching back to Volkswagen Avenue, I can't help but surmise that the 21^st century saloon still delivers everything the 21^st century Dad could need. As I hand the keys back to Alistair, he admits to having a nearly new Golf lined up as its replacement because he needs the more versatile boot configuration!

Thanks to Alistair for the loan of his car.
ⓒ Dan Ewing 2013

Mum & Dad's 2005 Nissan X-Trail SVE 2.2 dCi

There are all sorts of SUV's and off-road vehicles, and I've only ever been keen on a small number of an even smaller proportion of them. Old or new, I don't mind the really basic utilitarian mud sluggers, you know the original Land Rovers (and their later 90/110 /Defender variants), the Suzuki Jimny and it's SJ410 predecessor, the Jeep that pretty much got the market segment going in the first place, even the Lada Niva has a basic appeal, oh, and don't get me started on the Dacia Duster. I even quite like some of the gas guzzling, big engined (you know cubic capacities that read like phone numbers), be-turbo'd, luxo-palaces on wheels, mostly the Range Rover and Mercedes G-Wagon, but the odd Yank-tank if the mood takes me. The middle ground however, mostly Japanese, often a pick-up, with a load-bay cover, blacked out windows, and more chrome than a Halfords accessory catalog, they and their ilk leave me stone cold. They might have 4WD to balance out the handling somewhat, and healthy Turbo Diesel torque outputs, but all are heavier and tailer than a similarly spec'ed estate car, which would out perform its rugged counterpart everywhere, except off-road. And who's really gonna put 20-30 grands worth of shinny new SUV through some serious rough terrain hardship in the first place?

Enter my parents Nissan X-Trail, bought new in August 2005, with un-characteristic frivolity when it came to choosing the specification. The 2.2 diesel with its six speed manual 'box was probably the best UK option, the SVE spec level choice effectively ticked all the manufacturer options boxes, with only a few dealer fit options such as bull-bars and lamp-packs of questionable taste left on the shelf for another spend-easy to waste their pension money on. So as you approach the car you're greeted by metallic black paint, alloy wheels, chrome door handles, and privacy-glass windows. Clamber aboard and the list continues, leather, climate control, large screen Sat-Nav, heated seats, powerful stereo, cruise control, electric everything, including the massive glazed sunroof that you don't notice from outside because it sits out of sight, above your line of sight. The first thing I normally do when driving this car is adjust everything, move the seat back, down, and back some more, the steering wheel needs to shift up slightly, then the rear view mirrors, after that, a prescribed pause before starting the engine, before finally, the change of radio station away from that crackly LW Radio 4 drone.

The festive duties nearly over, I've returned my parents to their home on the seafront between Barmouth and Harlech, and can chill out for a few days before returning to the North East for New Years Eve entertainment with friends. Its a nice quiet day, and amazingly for North Wales (and British winters in general), the sun is out, albeit low in the sky. I've already been to Barmouth and back with Mother in search of food supplies to survive through to the weekend, so with only an hour or so's daylight left I'm keen to head out and get some photos taken. This is a thin but usable excuse to trace the rest of the A496 that runs out from Dolgellau to Barmouth, then along the coast through Harlech, Ynys (pronounce the Y's as I's) and Talsarnau (don't ask, I'm not sure), before heading inland beside what I thing is called the Crigyll estuary. This bit of the A496 can be especially good fun as most of the traffic turns off at the toll bridge in search of Penrhyndeudraeth and Porthmadog (I'm not making these up, honest), there are a few nice passing places to deal with any errant view seekers, and some seriously entertaining twisty bits on which to hone your skills.

With the sun sinking ever westward into the Irish Sea, I turn around at Maentwrog where the A496 crosses the A487 (its worth carrying on along the A496 all the way to Blaenau Ffestiniog if you're not rushed for time like I am), stopping opposite The Grapes Hotel to take the first few photo's outside an old stone built garage that I covet every time I pass this way. It's usually whilst photographing cars, that I really start to take on board their details properly. These first generation X-Trails had centre mounted displays with a correspondingly geometric dash top and centre console layout. This allows for some interesting features, like the extra vent that can direct cool air at the drivers face through the top of the steering wheel, and a useful storage bin beyond it with a 5 volt power socket (great for charging a mobile phone or or wiring up the iPod). The Sat-Nav screen dominates the console with large easy to use buttons beneath helping to age the devise, along with the dated software. The single din stereo is covered with fiddly little buttons, but easier to use steering wheel mounted controls negate their use most of the time. Three large round dials with push button centres make setting the climate control easy work too, although they can mostly be set to auto and left to both, keep occupants cosy and windows clear.

With the light fading fast, I hurry back along the estuary road in search of a farmers lay-by with a suitably picturesque backdrop for one or two final picture. Clambering in and out several times to adjust the cars situation in the landscape, I understand why Mum and Dad like the elevated seating position of these SUV's so much. Climbing aboard and disembarking can be a lot easier than in the standard family runaround. Other popular features include the heated seats which keep Mum happy, and deep cup holders which help keep Dad refreshed. The exterior styling is unashamedly chunky with large wheel arches, sturdy bumpers, and 'big' detailing, such as large lamp clusters and substantial D pillars. The looks might be a bit too rugged for my taste, but it'd be unfair to deny that this is a well proportioned nicely finished vehicle. And there is no denying that this is a very rugged vehicle. I've never had the opportunity, or more to the point, the knobbly tyres and back-up crew to try this thing off-road to any great extent, but if its capacity to shrug off snow and severe rain is anything to go by, I suspect it would prove itself competent at the very least.

This view of its potential off-road capabilities is enhanced by its on road abilities. The 2.2 litre common rail turbo diesel is a fairly old fashioned noisy brute of an engine, but it delivers 136bhp and rather healthy 232lb/ft. The 0-60mph and fuel consumption don't sound too great on paper (at 11 point something and 39mpg) but that useable torque makes for pretty good cross country performance, with reasonable real world mpg figures. Pressing on along the old B4573 back into Harlech, the 2WD transmission mode which helps increase that mpg a little, also starts to leave the front tyres with just a little too much to do, as they start to scrabble for grip in the leaf mulch covered corners. Flicking over to the AUTO mode, brings the rear drivetrain into action as necessary and quelling any understeer quite nicely. There always seems to be a higher or lower gear ready and waiting in that six speed 'box too. Mooching the last few miles back to my folks house for another cup of tea and an episode of Dads Army before dinner, it dawns on me, just how fond I have become of this X-Trail over the years. It's a straight forward, honest old fella, that is comfortable with who and what it is. It is willing to play on twisty roads to the best of its abilities, chomp its way through big motorway journeys, and do a myriad of other mundane but useful tasks. You could almost call it a sports utility vehicle really....

Thanks to Mum & Dad for the loan of their car. (now as always!)
ⓒ Dan Ewing 2013

Kris' 1997 Peugeot 106 independence 1.1

Everyone should have a car like this at least once in their lifetime, a car that you are not so much the owner of, as the temporary custodian for future cash strapped motorists. You rarely buy these cars by choice, but rather out of a necessity for personal motorised transport on limited funds. In fact you rarely actually pay money for them at all, and if you do, it's more likely to be the price of a flat screen tele, the insurance will cost three times as much. Quite often they bare an incredible resemblance to the first car we or one of our mates had, sharing a lot of the same attributes, more often than not acquiring simple nicknames, and ending up engraved on our hearts. These 'stop gap' cars often have at least one significant mechanical flaw, maybe even several, and plenty of minor faults and foibles that should leave you in disgust, cursing the day you ever clapped eyes on the blasted thing. Yet years later we still regale happy tails of former ownership to anyone who will listen, should we spot one in the street.

Purchased for the princely some of £100 from a colleague by Kris' sister Suzanne (her with the Focus TDDi) as a work tool back in June 2009. Regularly borrowed by their dad Eddie throughout 2010, by the summer of 2011 finances finally permitted the Ford purchase, so custody was handed to Kris who needed a cheap motor for commuting to his night shifts. In the best 'stop gap' fashion, Alan is a special edition, and not just any special edition, but an especially cheap french special edition. The recipe is simple enough, take any base model small hatchback, throw some gaudy fabric at the interior, add a limited choice of bright paint colours, liberally cover with model badges of questionable taste, maybe a tilting sunroof, and voila, one infinitely more desirable sales success. Well a car that is cheap to build coz of the limited model variations, and that can be revised quickly for the cost of a new sticker design and a quick change to the paint supply order.

And that is exactly the formula used to create this face-lifted phase II Peugeot 106. An 1.1 XN 5 door in an eye searing metallic electric blue, with equally bright blue and black weave pattern seats and trim, a raft of 'independence' badges make it hard to forget that this is a special edition, but at least that tilting sunroof adds some serious luxury! Basic by late 90's standards meant wind up windows, no air-con just a fan heater, a radio cassette player (stereo with FM mind), and manually adjusted wing mirror controls. Scrapping the snow off to head out for a run reveals many battle scars. On the nearside there is trim missing from the front wing, the side mirror is held on with gaffa tape, and the rear door is dented. The offside has suffered too, all the trim is missing from that side, including a bit of the rear bumper. Poor Alan looks like he's been through a hedge backwards.

Climbing inside and the hard black plastics have faired a little better, but not much. The rubber buttons on numeric keypad for the immobiliser have worn through, the soft touch plastic on the steering wheel is pitted and worn, and nearly 16 years of use have thankfully dulled those seat fabrics down slightly. Going to adjust the offside wing mirror, the lever moves around but the mirror doesn't, the nearside lever is missing altogether. Several aftermarket accessories are scattered across the dash top, including various cup-holders and air-fresheners. It's quick a nice place to be though, space is okay, and a good seating position can be found, even in spite of pedals that are heavily off set to the left because of the encroaching wheel arch.

Turn the key in the ignition and nothing, oh yeah, that immobiliser code. Beep, beep, beep, beep, the red LED goes off, a green LED comes on, turn the key again and the 8 value four cylinder churns into life, all 59bhp and 67lb/ft of it. The engine sounds healthier than I'd expected, the exhaust however is blowing a bit, thanks to Kris' gun-ho speed-bump technique. Selecting first reveals quite a lot of play in the gear linkage that I think is down to age rather than poor engineering. Driving up the coast through Whitley Bay and the brake pedal seems a little spongy. Kris has topped up the power steering fluid recently so the steer weight is near perfect and for now at least works quietly. Out on the A193 through Hartley, Seaton Sluice, and towards Blyth, a health cruise can be maintained, although that exhaust does start to get noisy at speed.

The basic nature of this car is endearing, a large buttoned single DIN stereo tops off the centre console, next down are two sliders and a dial to controls the ventilation, a neat row of five large round buttons and a large ashtray (that refuses to stay shut) more or less completes the gadget list. To the left is a decent glovebox and yet another independence badge, to the right, the airbag fitted steering wheel, with a nicely shaped instrument panel behind. Even that is basic, with a large round speedo on the left and a large analog clock on the right, a semi circular fuel gauge above them, and a row of warning lamps across the bottom. The rectangular air vents look strangely old skool compared to the retro round items found in a lot of modern cars. Those round push buttons, the interior door handles, and the nifty map lamp all remind me of my old 205 GTi.

Todays snow covered roads don't really allow for much exploration of the handling, but I've had a fair amount of previous with various base spec phase I 106's in the early 90's, and had regular access to a near identical Citroen Saxo in the mid and late 90's (Paul with the Yaris had one with the inclusive insurance deal). Even these basic 1.1's encapsulate a lot of the entertainment capacity that made the 205 GTi legendary. It's the way the suspension absorbs the bumps whilst still allowing you to carry substantial speed through the corner, that and the purity of the steering. 8v engines were a bit old hat by the late 90's but they deliver a handy amount of torque lower down the rev range, and there's not that need press on to the redline like you do with 16v units. The skinny 155/70 R13 tyres grip well, but match the available power nicely, so that you can play around with the level of grip, all without breaking the national speed limit.

Alan and his ilk are just so enjoyable to drive, and are able and willing to be driven as hard as possible without drawing too much attention to themselves. Sitting in the back is no great hardship for a short ride to the pub and the amount of gear we could get into the back of Paul's Saxo was amazing. When you start to think about how cheap these cars can be to buy, insure, and run, then even a petrol-head like me starts to wonder about downsizing. Maybe a 1.4 petrol or the 1.5 diesel so that overtaking isn't so nerve-wracking, or perhaps a 106 GTi or a Saxo VTS, but no, the costs and spec start to rise, and the anonymity starts to disappear. And that is probably what makes these 'stop gap' cars so loveable, our expectations start out low, and budgetary requirements force us to accept certain fault, but in spite of their basic, humble, and often rundown state, we end up adoring them for the freedom of mobility that they deliver. Too all the Alan's of this world, we salute you.

Thanks to Kris for the loan of his car.
ⓒ Dan Ewing 2013

Jan's 2012 Nissan Juke Tekna 1.5 dCi 2WD

The country roads within the Bedford, Luton, Milton Keynes triangle have been hit hard by the scourge of blanket 40 and 50mph speed restrictions, but not all of my old favourites have been scuppered. The Christmas festivities have drawn me south to visit my brothers family, so I've taken the opportunity to head out in my sister-in-law's car for an hour or two, as much to escape the delights of shared family-time, as to write this article. Like an M.P. who is duty bound to declare their 'interest' in a discussion to avoid later being accused of swaying the debate for personal gain, I must admit to having extensive prior connections where Nissan is concerned. I did work for Nissan at their Technical Centres in Cranfield and Sunderland, my brother Matthew still does, and he gets not one but two company cars. So I am more than familiar with and have had regular access to a fair chunk of the Nissan range, past and present.

Being a Tekna this Juke started off near the top of the spec tree and has hit most of the option branches on the way down. There's a good quality leather interior, with a very clever touch screen Sat Nav-Audio system that seems able to connect with all the latest gadgets. The small steering wheel has a raft of audio and phone controls as well as cruise controls. There is a very neat centre console that switches between climate and driver info controls. Headlamp and wiper stalks all have auto modes that reduce the frequency with which you need to reach for them in the first place. Outside there's quality metallic paint, funky alloy wheels, privacy glass in the rear set of windows, and a nifty keyless entry system that means that as long as you have the keys on your person, you can get in and start the car.

These Jukes seem to look bigger and bulkier than the measurements would suggest, the high bonnet and waistline feed into shapely rear wings beneath the a narrow glass house and pinched roof. It's certainly a very fresh new design that steps away from the oft tread retro small car route. I like some of the styling details but find others vaguely annoying. I love the high mounted front lamp clusters, especially when viewed from the drivers seat at night, but am disappointed to discover that only the side light and indicators shine out from them, the dipped and full beam both come from the lamp lenses in the bumpers. The roofline in itself would look good on a low slung 3 door coupe but seems a little odd perched on top of this 5 door sudo SUV body. And it seems a shame to make these cars without 4WD, even if it does enhance the economy.

The 1.5 turbo diesel engine is a Nissan-Renault alliance stalwart with a healthy 108bhp and 177 ft/lb of torque, that combined with regular shifting of the six speed 'box, delivers decent pace at any speed. Steady driving seems to deliver healthy fuel consumption of nearly 60mpg and even the heavy footed will get figures in the high 30's. The performance feels brisk rather than rapid, but a good cross country gait can be easily achieved. The steering seems very sharp and direct, although there doesn't seem to be a huge amount of feedback through the wheel. The ride is on the firm side, but not too harsh as it never seems to get overwhelmed by bigger bumps or potholes, which is impressive considering the fairly short wheel base. The firm ride also aids the handling which feels reassuringly good, although the combination of high seating position and a fair amount lean through the corners does leave you feeling a little prone when pressing on.

Over lunch Jan starts quizzing me as to what I'm gonna write about her car, and my response is a little flat. The Juke seems to be a very popular car, you see them around everywhere, and Nissan's Sunderland factory can't make them quickly enough. In purely objective terms, it is a very competent, practical car, with plenty of useful features and details, and only a few compromises in the name of style. Yet I can't quite seem to gel with it, I can't quite engage with it on a favourite stretch of road in a way that leaves me wanting to double back and do it all over again. I like some of the visual details, yet can't help but feel that as a whole, it ends up looking a little odd and fussy.

Maybe it's the whole crossover thing, and the fact that these cars aren't really aimed at someone like me, who rates dynamics and feel over efficiency and practicality. This is the newest and most valuable car I've tested so far, and I'd bet that nobody, myself included, could find much to complain about, if they were given one of these Juke's as their runaround. It's just that given the same amount of money to choose for myself, I'd be swayed by a more conventional coupe, or if practicality really dictated, a straight forward executive estate car. But that is the beauty of the raft of automobiles available to us the consumer, the end user. What I might see as small, cramped, dull or weird, others will lord as compact, cosy, easy to drive, and striking. Likewise my ideal of a powerful, discrete, and capacious car, others will chastise as a gas guzzling, drab, barge.

I can't conclude that the Nissan Juke is a bad car, or even that Nissan need to make some changes to improve it to suit me more. It is a good car, and for many people, like Jan, it will be a great car that does everything they want well. Am I right? Is Jan wrong? The answer to both questions is the same. Our requirements are just different and so our evaluation of this and any car will always differ. There will never be one perfect car, that does everything superbly, and everyone rates equally well. The vast variety of user requirements, the evolution of technology, even the changing environment in which we live, will always drive forward and change our view point of any given car new or old. And so it should do, variety is after all the spice of live.

Thanks to Jan for the loan of her car.
ⓒ Dan Ewing 2013

Andy's 1988 Porsche 928 S4

It has just gone noon, but the puddles at the end of the drive are still frozen solid, despite the best efforts of the late November sun. My nerves are jangling big time as I back this big brute of a sports car down the crowded drive, between various parked cars, and onto the cul-de-sac beyond. Andy jumps into the passenger seat, I slide the lever into drive, prod the throttle gingerly, and we burble off down the still frosty streets of Glenrothes. Having the owner ride alongside as a passenger is a first for Car Keys of Separation, but my cousin seems contented enough, so I take a deep breath to settle myself. The first few miles are a bit of a blur, I'm lost and disoriented, unsure of where I am as we rumble our way through Scotland's answer to Milton Keynes. More of a worry is how slippery these main roads are and how much grip those substantial 225 45 R17 front and 255 40 R17 rear tyres are going to give.

As we pick up the M90 and head towards Perth for a bit, the numbing fear subsides as does the worry that this car is going to be an uncontrollable handful. I've remembered the best way to use the floor hinged accelerator, sliding my heel into the base of the pedal and accelerating with a point of my right toe. The large brake pedal is an easy reach away, and this being an Auto, my left foot is pinned to the well located footrest for the duration of the afternoon. Even a short time behind the wheel make the size of this car less imposing, sure the bonnet slopes out of sight in front of you, and the rear wings loom large in the side mirrors, but it doesn't look or feel quite as enormous on this motorway as it did in that driveway. It still feels wide every time we have to squeeze our way though another narrow village high street, although it could have been worse, apparently they chopped 3" out of the width early in development when someone noticed that it would be too wide for the European car train wagons.

Just west of Perth, we pick up the A85 towards Crieff. This is one of Andy's favourite biking roads and I can see why. The scenery is great even when the rain clouds close in and offload for a while. The road has that great combo of twisty, with the odd straight section, and most importantly not too heavy with traffic. Overtaking couldn't be easier, spot a straight, pull out, plant the throttle to the floor, wait a moment, then the 'box kicks down a few gears, the engine revs rise and the car surges at the horizon in a roar of meaty V8 growl and howl. This 5.0 litre S4 has gained a few tweaks, many of them from Porsche themselves, like the sports exhaust, those Cup wheels, a GTS rear bumper panel and rear wing, plus a Superchip to round things off. Performance figures are probably somewhere north of the factory 316bhp and 317ft/lb torque and the 0-60 has probably dropped below the original 5.7 seconds too.

We pull up in a lay-by to take some photos by the river that flows from Loch Earn and we both stand there clicking away with our camera phones for quite a while. I once would have listed this as my least favourite front engined Porsche, but the proportions look so much better in the metal. We flick the headlights on for effect and I notice the sculpting of the lamp housings for the first time. A panel neatly fills the hole left by the upturned lamp and the housing itself is reminiscent of those chrome units pre-war cars have. The revised rear lights and bumper of the S4 freshened the exterior appearance compared to the earlier cars, the detailing being the only thing that dates these 928's at all. The polyurethane front and rear bumpers were quite a rarity in 1978 when the 4.5 litre car was launched, but were commonplace by the time the last 5.4 litre GTS's left the factory in 1995.

Popping the bonnet reveals a masterpiece of engineering, that 32 value V8 is quite a snug fit under the narrow bonnet that resulted from that width reduction. The lack of space can make maintenance work a bit of a nightmare as bumper and wing removal becomes necessary. There is says Andy, just enough space at the front of the engine bay for a supercharger, courtesy of one or two clever American manufacturers. I can see the appeal, but with miles of greasy grit covered roads waiting ahead, I'm quite glad he hasn't succumb to the temptation just yet. The stop has made us realise the time and our bellies so we decide to press on to St Fillans and The Lochside Larder for lunch. As we pull out of the lay-by I decide to give it full chat, in the name of research you understand, the rear wheels instantly break traction, accompanied by that sound only wet rubber on wet road can make. I'm expecting the power to wain and the tyres to regain grip, instead, the 'box changes into second and the whizzing noise continues. I finally run out of space and steering lock, so lift off, straighten up, and return to the correct side of the road. We are chuckling away like school boys and Andy eventually confirm that it'll just keep spinning those wheels 'til the tyres are shredded.

Over lunch Andy recounts how he first fell for the Porsche 928 as a child when a school friends dad bought one and he was taken for a spin in it. I think seeing my old 944 Lux at a family get together rekindled Andy's love for the 928, coz by the next spring he'd found this cherished and cosseted low mileage example online. The sound of that sports exhaust in a video clip was the final clincher, so in February 2010 he got the cash out of the bank, made his way down south to complete the deal and collect his new toy. The then owner was almost in tears when Andy arrived. The owners wife put the kettle on, and worried that the whole deal was about to fall through, Andy put the cash on the kitchen table. This did the trick, and a hasty retreat was made before Geoff could change his mind again.

Dropping down into the drivers seat yet again, I'm more able to take in my surroundings than earlier in the day. Andy was busy last winter, fitting a new tan coloured carpet set, black leather seats, and an after market stereo complete with monster sub speaker in the boot. It all looks a lot better than the original eighties-tastic white leather with white carpets. Many of the details will be familiar to anyone who has been in any 80's Porsche, though the dash and centre console do give away the late 70's origin of the design somewhat. The four round black dials have simple white graphics and are flanked on either side by four large round buttons for minor controls. Two sliders, a knob, and an A/C button complete the ventilation controls in the centre console and a trio of easy to reach stalks control the major controls and cruise control.

You sit very low in these uniquely shaped two piece Recaro seats that hold you in place perfectly on the move. There are 12 control buttons on the side so finding the perfect position is easy enough. Your legs are stretched out fairly flat in front of you and that steering wheel does seem to sit in your lap at first, but its all very comfortable and cosy. There are some fantastic details in here too, like the door pocket lids that swing open with a thump press. The four spoke black leather steering wheel has the classic 'PORSCHE' script embossed on the horn pad and wonderfully tactile stitching that runs around the inside of the rim.

I'm really starting to enjoy this car as we weave our way around Loch Earn then turn south onto the A84 past Loch Lubnaig. I start using the auto lever to hold the 'box in third, keeping the revs a little higher and feeding the car from corner to corner with more conviction. It's amazing how agile and controllable this big car is starting to feel as you sweep through the bends, how quick and unruffled it can be in such tricky conditions. I'm also able to take onboard the detail of that engine note as the revs rise and fall. Below 1500rpm you barely hear the engine at all and would be hard pressed to identify what configuration it was. Between 1500 and 2000rpm there is a subtle but beautiful warbling noise that can only be a V8 coming to life. As the revs rise the note hardens until that sports exhaust really starts to join in after 3500rpm and the thing really starts to roar. It's an absolutely fabulous sound that I never tired of, even later on in the evening, at the end of our long trip.

Before we reach Callander, we peal off onto the narrow little A821 that runs west past Loch Venachar and Loch Achray, before turning south for Aberfoyle. This is a twisty old strip of tarmac with no one else on it, so I drop the lever into second and really start to press on through the corners. With good visibility of the road ahead I press harder and harder into each corner with no sign of reaching the cars limits. The weight of the steering is superb, the ride is firm but never harsh, the handling is sweet, with great feedback through the controls. I don't mind automatic gearboxes, providing there is a decent amount of engine power to compensate for the drivetrain power losses and slight delay in reactions. This short stretch of road is the only point at which I wonder what the 5 speed manual would be like. That Auto 'box in more than welcome though as darkness falls and we thread our way east towards Stirling and back to Glenrothes.

I must confess that the Porsche 928 has never been a 'Hero Car' of mine, I haven't coveted one since childhood like Andy has, but it is a legend of a car and has migrated its way up my mental list of 'Must Drive' cars over the year. History can be a little hard on the 928, that was originally conceived as a replacement for the 911, which being rear engined was about to fall foul of new regulations in the valuable American market. Those regulations never arrived, turbo technology and new company management meant the iconic 911 could be developed further than was previously expected, and all the front engined models kind of got snubbed for being too conventional. The truth is that they were and are great sports car that made healthy profits for Porsche who could then afford to make the heavy investments that the 911 needed to survive. This snobbery does mean that these front engined cars are a lot cheaper to buy than their 911 counterparts. Maybe the 928 should make the transition onto my mental 'Must Own' list before too many more people work that out.

Thanks to Andy for the loan of his car.
ⓒ Dan Ewing 2012

Paul's 2002 Toyota Yaris 1.0 VVTi GS

“Really?!” That was the slightly surprised reaction Paul gave to my acceptance of his half joking offer to review his humble little runaround. Fortified by several pints of Deuchers IPA in the warmth and comfort of the Low Light Tavern, I was confident that there would be plenty of note to write about. Fast forward a few weeks and sitting in the passenger seat at 7:30am on a bleak grey Thursday morning, my confidence has wained somewhat. The plan was simple enough and should provide the necessary opportunity for any car to show signs of promise beyond 'being better than public transport', but as we circumnavigated Newcastle upon Tyne on our way to Paul's workplace, I couldn't help but feel that this Yaris was going to be an uninspiring steer.

Mooching our way along the A1056 past Killingworth towards the A1, Paul and I were surprised to work out that he's had this car for six years, having made a rather swift purchase after the demise of his wife's old bubble shaped Nissan Micra, post MoT failure. Although he'd only just started to look for a replacement, the price of the then four years old car, with its low mileage, and only one or two minor interior blemishes, was too good a bargain to miss out on. As a second car to commute in and occasionally collect the kids from nursery, the fairly basic one litre 3 door hatchback was ideal. We eventually come to a halt outside the swanky out of town office complex where Paul is due to embark on another day of accountancy software development, and I finally get my hands on the keys and transfer to drivers seat.

Turning the key even that first notch in the ignition brightens my mood quite literally. The digital dials of the centre mounted display came to life in green and red LED's. This panel is angled towards the driver, so you don't notice it from the passenger seat, which is in some ways quite a shame. The dash had looked as bland and grey as the cloudy sky outside, but the sight of the large numeric speedo and semi circular bar graph rev counter cheer things up considerably, for the driver at least. That centre console allows for a very geometric dash layout with large clear controls that are easy to identify and use. Two decent sized glovebox replace the steering wheel on the passenger side and cubbyholes either side of the centre console prove to be more useful than they first appear.

As it's still early, I decide to join the hoards of commuters and trundle down The Great North Road through Gosforth and towards the City Centre. It becomes instantly clear that this is going to be an easy car to drive and well suited to the commuter crawl. All the pedals and controls are nicely weighted, with a smooth gear change, light steering, and good visibility. The humble 68bhp and 66ft/lbs of torque are both adequate to the task of keeping up with the traffic on the rare moments when the road ahead clears. I cut across the Town Moor in search of Westgate Road and the A69, intent on an escape to the country. On the westward bound duel carriageway, that modiste power output starts to struggle. It can manage a steady cruise on the level, but those Northumbrian hills are a constant reminder that you've only got one litre to play with. As I loose momentum up yet another steep incline, I start to wonder whether this was the best destination for a little city dweller.

Its reasonably refined in here and although there can be quite a bit of engine noise, its usually a sign that you're being over ambitious and need to ease off a little. The seating position does feel fairly upright, but the feeling of space is rather welcome in a car of this size. North of Hexham the lanes merge into a single carriageway and I slow to the inevitable crawl that often occurs when you catch up with one of the many articulated lorries that frequent the A69. A few miles later I get to peal off onto the A686 and take in the delights of the Alston Pass, a road which winds its way over the Pennines to Penrith, and has long been a favourite road of mine.

The first few miles twist and turn gently up hill through the forests beside Langley Burn and the constant stream of 2^nd gear corners make exploring the levels of grip easy enough. That little 16v power plant happily rev's quite hard and delivers enough go to pull the car willingly out of each bend. Those high seats and a fair amount of body roll leave you sliding around in your seat a bit, clinging onto the steering wheel, holding yourself in place with spirited driving. This is fine when you're in the car on your own, but could be alarming for any would be passengers. The great thing about the Alston Pass is the constant variation, so after a few miles of dashing through the forest, the road straightens out for a while and you get a chance to cruise past any slower moving road users. And so it goes on, twisty forest lined fun, then open moorland stretch, throw in the odd set of switch backs, village, or stout stone bridge, and beauty continues for mile after mile.

Finally I find myself entering the village of Melmerby, and stop at the Village Bakery for a coffee and to ponder the question 'what am I going to say about this seemingly consumer appliance of a car?' Sitting there sipping my Latte, I suddenly remembered my early journeys through this village in one small hatchback or another, dreaming of more power, better grip, and prestigious stopping power. These small base model motors give so many people their first taste of freedom, getting to enjoy the process of driving, learning to find the limits of the car, carry speed through corners, anticipate overtaking manoeuvres, and so much more. The fond memories of rusty old Metro's and dodgy Fiesta's being hurled at hill and dale as fast as their screaming valve gear would allow, provoke a more nostalgic view of the prospect of driving this Yaris back to Newcastle.

Retracing my route back into town, the confidence is swelling and I'm having a blast. I'm pushing harder through the corner, rev'ing the engine closer to the limiter in return for those final few horses and getting some encouraging engine noises to urge me on. On the big open switch backs near the hill top Hartside Cafe, I finally reach the limits of front end grip, the nearside wheel chugging in protest as it sheds off the excess speed. Theres no need to panic, no terminal understeer, or oversteer as you lift off a little, the car just gathers itself back up and resumes normal service. Even the run back along the A69 seems more fun, anticipating those hills and working to sustain you pace becomes quite enjoyable in its own right.

Back in the city centre, casually carving my way though the traffic I finally find a suitably urban corner to stop and take some photos. This car was ok looking when launched but the two later generations have left it looking a little frumpy. Looking more closely, I notice that the front is quite a good shape, the wheels fill the arches better than I had realised, the rear lines are good too, its the shape of the side windows on the 3 door that makes it look a little odd. Tootling around for the rest of the afternoon, doing the odd errand or two whilst waiting to retrieve Paul from his cubical, I cant help but find myself feeling quite fond of this little car in a way I hadn't expected. Its a bit like Ronseal, 'Does what it says on the tin'. Its no great revelation in motoring, or even small car packaging, and its probably not the best small car of its era, but it does the basic task of commuting very well, and within reason can do a pretty good job of motorways and entertaining A and B roads too. What more can you ask for?

Thanks to Paul for the loan of his car.
ⓒ Dan Ewing 2012

Suzanne's 2001 Ford Focus 1.8 TDDi Ghia

Any attempt to analysis the build quality and refinement will have to wait until I find the baby rattle that is currently jostling around somewhere it the back. Noise levels can't be too bad coz I can clearly hear the little beads rattling inside the plastic ring. Hawaiian flower Lei's and a Converse sneaker air freshener hang from the rearview mirror, a foam skull & cross bones flag on a spring bounces about on the dash-top, there's a bottle of diet Coke rolling around the front footwell, a handful of baby toys and abandoned homework on the back seat. I haven't dared peer into the rear footwells yet and have been advised not to bother trying to use the boot! This is the least cluttered I've seen this car since Suzanne first got 'Jack the Wrecker' last summer, but to be fair, as it is used to transport a teenage Lotte and a baby Io around, clutter is only to be expected.

Suzie chose this Focus primarily because of the good reviews that the TDDi diesel engine gets and previous experience of later model Focus' used for work trips. The low'ish mileage, bargain price, and Ghia spec list all helped to tip the balance in its favour. Living in Seaton Delaval, with family and friends in Whitley Bay, and work calling for travel all over Newcastle upon Tyne, the ensuing high annual mileage made the choice of a diesel as must really. It's a good looking car, the first to successfully use Fords 'New Edge' design philosophy (the Ka was a little too dumpy, the Cougar tried too hard). The exterior styling uses this one curved line that gets repeated across the car. Its there over the headlights, around the front wheel arches, in the rise of the A pillar, the fall of the rear windows, and the high mounted rear light clusters. It has aged well, the two replacement versions have never really improved on the original.

Having already gone north to pick up the car, I decided to head further north on a little trip around Northumberland to give this car every chance to show its merits. These first generation Focus' were highly lorded by professional journalists when first launched and they've been harking on about them ever since. So although on one level I want to like this car, there is also this niggling fear that it has been over hyped over the years. Picking up the A186 Spine Road I skirt around Ashington before following the brown Coastal Route signs that should lead me to Seahouses. It is a pretty route and good fun when its not too busy. Being after 4pm on a late October afternoon, it's getting dark and everyone seems to be heading home from work.

The steady traffic allows me time to get settled into a comfortable position and get use to the controls and adjust my expectations to match the modiste performance available from that 89bhp engine. Inadvertently missing the Coastal Route turn-off the other side of Amble, I end up on a quiet B road that runs through Eglingham and onto Chatton. Having read on Wikipedia that the multilink rear suspension gave exceptional ride comfort, I wasn't convinced at first, but as I track my way down this unknown road, it occurs to me that the surface is in a terrible condition and the suspension is absorbing the bumps very well. In spite of the failing light, unknown route, and muddy water that is streaming onto the road from the sodden fields, this car really starts to come alive.

Threading my way eastwards toward Bamburgh, it becomes clear that the steering is not only accurate, but well weighted, with sharp reactions and clear feedback of what the front wheels are doing. In addition to providing a good ride, that multilink rear suspension works a treat when it comes to handling, as the back end never seems to get out of shape. The gear change is very smooth and slick, the ratios are well chosen providing access to the lag free performance of the engine, delivering smooth progress. The engine does show signs of a little coarseness at times that betrays its lineage back to the mid 80's and the absence of a sixth gear shows itself when cruising back down the A19 later in the evening. The brakes are good and easy to moderate, unlike just about every Mondeo I've driven from this period, that were always so sharp that you'd end up head-butting the steering wheel for the first few miles of driving.

Sitting on the quayside at Seahouses eating a carton of Neptune's finest fish & chips I have a chance to take stock of my surroundings. At launch there were grumblings about the quality of the interior plastics, but I think they are okay. The consistent match of the different plastics and the lack of wear after 11 years of use help to make this a nice place to sit. The piano black inserts and super smooth velour of this Ghia model enhance things, as does the use of a swooping swag line that runs all the way across the car, from driver to passenger door, bringing that 'New Edge' design treatment to the interior. The ubiquitous Ford double din stereo fits nicely into the curvature of the centre console, unlike some other Ford dashboards.

Having refuelled myself and my ride, I make my way south back along the Coastal Route aiming to pick up the A19 for home at some point. With weather conditions worsening, I ere on the side of caution, consciously easing off in a desire to return someone else's pride and joy in one piece. Those modiste power and torque figures, together with the great ride and superb grip, along with the clear feedback from all the controls, mean that you never feel that you're pushing the car beyond its capabilities. Slowing down to potter though another village, it occurs to me that not only were those journalists right, but that I too, am quite smitten with this car.

Ford has always been a global manufacturer, selling high volume, cost engineered vehicles to the mass market. Having held such a large share of the market for so long, it is easy to become snobbish about the brand, allowing familiarity to breed contempt. The truth is that Ford Europe has been producing great small family cars for as long as it has existed. Cars that don't have to be expensive, thirsty, performance models to be entertaining to drive. This Focus of Suzanne's has reminded me that motoring doesn't have to about prestige, power, and performance, it can be about a well balanced mix of components that work together to deliver a truly enjoyable experience and a great all round package.

Thanks to Suzanne for the loan of her car.
ⓒ Dan Ewing 2012