The occupants of these retro-mobiles
are probably sitting warn and cosy in their well heated, sound
deadened, commuter friendly environments. Their seats adjustment a
paragon of ergonomics, stereo sound - the last word in fidelity,
engine and gearbox noise a muted hum as they cruise away from the now
green light. Meanwhile, my right ankle is starting to hurt due to
the chronic lack of seat travel, the seat back at a jaunty angle to
keep my head from bumping into the roof, which also leaves the airbag
equipped steering wheel pointing oddly roof-wards. As I gingerly
lift the clutch pedal and try to keep up with that nippy 500 without
spinning the skinny front tyres too much, that typical A Series
whining noise pours into the cabin and all the discomfort fades away.
Its hard not to look down on these interlopers with distain,
figuratively speaking at least.
If like me, you are in your thirties
then you probably have at least one memory of riding crammed three
abreast into the back of a tatty old Mini that belonged to a friend
or family member, and yet still we remember them with such fondness
and longing. Its a lovely spec this car, the metallic green paint is
more thorn than british racing green, the 12” alloy wheels are
variation on an 80's pepper-pot style with smaller wheel arches than
the run-out spec Cooper model had over their fat 13” wheels. Even
with black plastic trim replacing many of the old chrome items on the
outside and the twee looking wooded dash and cream leather and tweed
seats, this car still retains so much more of that old charm than the
modern recreations ever will.
This car was purchased new by Hannah's
parents as a runaround for her Mum from their local dealer. The
Livock & Edwards dealer sticker and tax disc holder still adorn
the front and rear screen some 36000 miles later. The low mileage
and light interior wear are a testament to the love and affection
this car has received over the years. The four digit Liverpool
licence plate (that had adorned the car until recently was on
Hannah's Granny's Morris Minor convertible) just added to the old
skool charm. Its no pristine show pony though, various trips to
Liverpool Football Club and the Tynemouth salt air have taken their
invertible toll. The former leaving unexplained dents in the roof,
the latter leaving rust that has overcome the drivers side A panel,
the panels beneath both headlamps, and is showing its presence in one
or two other places. Minor repairs have been carried out on both
sills, and the door skins have been replaced (hence the poor fitting
door seals).
When Hannah first acquired Doris
from her mother back in 2008
it could regularly be seen parked on Front Street or pootling around
the local area with Han and her two eldest kids onboard. Local Mini
club members were pleased to see a classic Mini with child seats in
the back. The addition of another bundle of joy made the four seater
Mini slightly less practical as family transport and after a few
years of lighter use it seems the old girl may have to move on to
pastures new before too much longer.
Which is a crying shame, coz I just
love going out for a spin in this little thing. Flawed though it is,
the sense of fun and connection with what the car is doing as you
bounce and crash your way along a bumpy twisty B road is brilliant.
I love the way the steering lightens and communicates as you get back
onto the throttle at the entrance to a corner, confident of the grip
levels as you power through the apex and ring out the last few
hundred RPM before snatching another gear to propel you down the
road. What the 1275cc multipoint injection engine and four speed box
lack in power and refinement they more that make up for in eagerness,
noise, and entertainment. It's not quick by any modern standards,
most base model Supermini's would match or out pace it with ease, but
the way it goes is just enchanting.
By modern standards the classic Mini is
cramped, poorly equipped, noisy, impractical, and somewhat unsafe for
most users to tolerate as their sole daily transport. Some may also
question the validity of these later examples claim to being a true
classic, pointing to the earlier examples for the true experience.
But with prices of even the base model early cars starting to rise to
match those of the always popular Coopers, I think it unfair to view
these later cars so harshly, especially as they will provide most of
the charm with less of the headaches that the early cars will
present.
I wish I had the money to buy and run
it as my second car. Not my only car mind. I'd get bored of the
fiddly door lock, banging my head on the door frame every time I get,
the achy right ankle after half an hours driving, the lack of heat,
ventilation, and whether proofing, not being able to cruise down the
motorway in any comfort, or transport anything bigger than about
three foot square, all too often for daily use. But if you just need
to pop to the shops, nip to a mates house, or just go for a good old
fashions blast, then its just great. I think I can get away with one
last drive before I drop the keys back, now where did I put that
Italian Job soundtrack.
Thanks to Hannah for the loan of her
car.
ⓒ Dan
Ewing 2012
